Achilles and Emotional Intelligence

December 28, 2010 by Leda Karabela - Leave your comment

Achilles’ heel…

I seriously doubt that Homer ever imagined that Achilles, one of the most intriguing Iliad heroes would end up being mostly associated with his weak and vulnerable spot – his tendon. However, the merciless 20/20 hind-sight historic viewpoint  has proved so many people wrong with both their expectations and predictions.

Let’s face it: we all have our own tender heels and let’s not blame our stumbling and occasional downfalls on Paris’ well aimed and Apollo guided arrows. It’s no coincidence that Achilles was also infamous for his frequent rages. He would fly off the handle and the Greeks would almost lose the war.

But let’s fast forward to the 21st century and the year 2011. With 3 days left for the grand entrance of the new year and the customary and introspective grandiose decision and resolution making deals, wouldn’t you want to have the magic wand to stop trouble before it happens?

While there are all kinds of trouble spots, moods, behaviors and inborn personality tendencies that we need to tame in order not to fall flat on our faces as we deal with our colleagues, teams, loved ones and a bunch of other people around us, I will point the finger to the all time classic burst of anger. And the issue is the outburst. It’s that moment in time where the surge of adrenaline makes you blindly stupid.

Picture this: you are in the office, and you read this terribly upsetting email. You are furious and you write – correction – you blast off the sender, and then you turn pink and red and purple as you realize you already pressed the send button. Disaster in the making…

So, while Microsoft has already provided for your rush response if you are using Outlook, here comes a brilliant gadget, Emotional Tone Check, from Lymbix a Canadian start up, recognized among the top 2010 innovative ideas by the New York Times. The point is not peddling the product – the issue is to resist you – yes, your emotional outburst, the reaction, the rage, and whatever will get you in that space in the first place.

But if on the other hand, a cute little emoticon smiley face will make you not do it, then by all means – just try it out. As long as you think about it later. Promise?

Bah-Humbug Thoughts on Christmas Eve

December 24, 2010 by Leda Karabela - Leave your comment

Ebenezer Scrooge and Bah-humbug…

Written in 1843, Dickens’ Christmas Carol infamous character seems to be our favorite and instinctively fitting hero of our era, collective monomaniacal consumerism and hollow sentimentality.

All these cute and touching Christmas and politically correct westernly termed “Holiday Season’s” Greetings to avoid offending the rest of the world religious beliefs, e-cards, and unbelievably “heavy” emails with their cutsy and heavy attachments that drive you nuts especially when you are desperately trying to download them on your iphone, blackberry or any other vulnerably “smart” phone…

How do you really feel about them?

Tradition, habit, socially acceptable norms and obligations or a genuine need to connect and signal your love, friendship, affection, good will or whatever emotion is fitting for the recipient of those warm holiday wishes?

How sincere are you when you broadcast your wishes to your universe of family, friends, acquaintances and to commercialize the point for any business – the greetings to your “loyal” customers, suppliers, colleagues and any other commercial partner of sorts?

“Habit is a great deadener.” So, if you do it out of this wonderful habitual obligatory warmth accompanying the December spirit – just don’t. If on the other hand, you do see this as an opportunity to speak out and express what’s in your heart – then by all means, do!

Sometimes, in our rushed, chronologically and emotionally challenged world, we forget all about gratitude, appreciation and acknowledgment of those people who are making our lives just a bit or – in many cases – so much better. And Christmas and the holidays -like all symbolic representations – sometimes lack the authenticity and in extension the depth and the true meaning and significance of the gesture, the real, heart-felt wish for someone to do better, the artful and tactful act of giving.

In the extreme commercialization of everything, let’s not all just be like everyone else. Speak in your own voice, use your own words, feel your feelings and if and when appropriate, share them with those you must. But not just with everybody – because this is what everyone else does…

P.S. Thanks to Umair Haque for the inspiration: “…While, admittedly, business has done its bah-humbug brain-dead best to try and shamelessly commandeer Christmas in the haggard name of crass, vulgar consumerism, try as the masters of the universe might, they can’t stop the holidays from being about the deeper elements of an authentically well-lived life: lasting relationships, human intimacy, animating passion, enduring ideals, higher purpose, shared values, meaning (and maybe a homemade fruitcake or two)…” From Umair Haque’s HBR blog The Economic Legacy of Ebenezer Scrooge.

Crybabies vs. Michelangelos

December 16, 2010 by Leda Karabela - Leave your comment

Some days there’s nothing. And what I mean by nothing is the blank, the hollowness, the void, the lack of excitement, enthusiasm and spark. It happens to all of us. Something or someone disappoints us, lets us down and we end up in a grey zone of pessimism, misery and negativity – or even worse: we float into the state of great indifference.

And spending a short time in such a state probably does us all a lot of good as this is the state we really want and need to avoid. Now, how short or long this state really is, is only up to us and the choices we will or won’t make.

I can hear your excuses – loud and clear: It’s not all up to me; I can’t help it; I was let down; the sky has fallen or whatever.

Come on: at times like these we are nothing but big crybabies. We want to vent, fume, cry, bitch, complain, and do, say, feel all these beautifully sorrowful emotional verbs that in essence all lead to the same miserable conclusion: There is your ugly problem staring you in the eye. But, hey: it’s your problem. However you want to blame someone or something else, the fact remains that the problem is still yours.

So, get out your painting brushes, materials, colors, papers, feelings, thoughts, ideas, frustrations, words, and anything else you feel you need – and think of Michelangelo. Be a Michelangelo and start dealing with whatever it is you need to solve.

And, if you really want a kick in the rear end to get you started, do something simple. Go to your inspiration library and pull the story of someone whose life was/is harder than yours. Be humbled, see what they went through and how they overcame. And if you don’t have a library – maybe it’s time to start putting together your very own and personal inspiration collection.

And if you don’t have anything right off the bat, borrow some of mine:

Just build your own library soon!

Misfits and Crazy ones

December 9, 2010 by Leda Karabela - Leave your comment

“There’s just this for consolation: an hour here or there when our lives seem, against all odds and expectations, to burst open and give us everything we’ve ever imagined.” — “The Hours” by Michael Cunningham

It’s rare to appreciate the present for what it really is. You look at it from another point in time and the lens has already changed and the view is different and history is already in the making. And those that may have seemed crazy, rebellious, ridiculous, out of place, insolent, are right there as the heroes of the future: the misfits who inspire, who dare to dream, who can make THE difference.

As I am thinking and writing this, I am also wondering. Am I getting to be too “New Age and California” style? Do I have a hint of “Pollyannaish’ in me? The world seems grey at the moment – and I dare to think of crazy, inspirational stuff?

Actually, I do. Without the pause, the ideas, the dreams, the desire and passion to move forward – our days will be just a series of burned out candles – and I refuse to see it or do it that way. So, breathe in and take in the crazies below –  the clip is a classic – tribute to some of the most creative minds ever….

Just Do It!

November 30, 2010 by Leda Karabela - Leave your comment

Having flown into New York for a brief business trip, I once again find myself in the familiar place of “virtumulti”-tasking. Clients in Europe and the US go on with their scheduled calls, the NY based business appointments are kept, and the holiday buzz and the lighting of the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center that will disrupt today’s NYC traffic won’t stop life’s on-going performance.

Nothing unusual about such heightened level of alertness, activity and global holographic presence. But as the anxiety levels of time zones, jet lag, multiculturalism and performance expectations rise, I keep on thinking that the common denominator in the seamless operation of such complexity is trust and faith in our desirability to overcome whatever it is we need to overcome. And plenty of times the issue is the other people left physically behind.

Do these team members in the other continent feel secure in my absence? Can they still rely on my help, availability, virtual presence? Can business go on as usual while I am gone with a minimum time delay due only to the time difference?

Multinationals have been at this game for decades. But for smaller companies and individual clients for whom global and international projects may be less common, trust, relationships and reliance on the whole team is vital.  So, let’s get clear on the expectations, the deliverables and agree on who will do what when and then just do it. (*see note below).

Do people get thrown off because they are in unfamiliar territory, outside their office box, their comfort zone? Sure they do – it’s part of human nature. However, problems can be assessed by the quality of their solutions.

While solutions may not be immediately visible or within reach, over time and with the right mix of people, ideas, ingenuity and of course the appropriate resources – including the trust and determination to fix whatever needs to be fixed – the challenges can be transformed into processes of planning and execution.

So, you must have guessed by now that I am thinking of a specific solution to some problem. And I know that the great thing about problems is the way you end up finding their solutions. Getting to utilize all the available kind of support each one of us has at his/her disposal, whether it is people, points of reference, money, ideas, infrastructure or whatever it takes, is really dependent on the degree of your own decisiveness. So, don’t let go of your belief that you can always try – and try a bit harder until you know for sure that you’ve done your absolute best.

Oh, and don’t forget: keep on building the trust with the people that help you do all the things you do – because even if you think you are all alone and you do everything yourself, the truth is that someone is giving you the strength to go on….

* I cannot think of the phrase and not make the attribution to Nike’s  ‘Just Do It’ ad, that first came out back in 1988. It quickly became both universal and intensely personal. It spoke of sports. It invited dreams. It was a call to action, a refusal to hear excuses, and a license to be eccentric, courageous and exceptional. It was Nike.

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