Einstein on The Park

October 15, 2011 by Leda Karabela - Leave your comment

“Only Those Who Attempt The Absurd, Achieve The Impossible…”

Can you squint and read the sign on the photo? I stumbled on this nutty street performer walking the Boston Garden early in the morning. He put a smile on my face. In case you don’t recognize the quote and the whole thing seems for the loony bin –  easier said than done, right? – please think again.

It was Einstein who said it! Come on, admit it: Coming from Albert, it sounds divinely inspiring but reading it on a handwritten sign in the middle of the park with all these “crazy” stuffed monkeys and drums and tins and all, it’s a whole different story.

But life has this cool habit of catching us all by surprise. Gems, pearls of wisdom and the light touch of guardian angels are all around us. All we have to do is be open enough to let the sun come through.

PS: For those who have not heard the Opera Einstein on The Beach by Philip Glass, I’d highly recommend it – It gave me the idea for the title of this post.

 

Fast Forward To The Past

October 14, 2011 by Leda Karabela - Leave your comment

 

Sitting comfortably at the BA lounge at Heathrow (guilty as charged – paying the Idiot Tax again) I am gearing up to pay a visit to my past. I have a tendency to leave for good when I go. While it sounds terminal and irrevocable – moving on has somehow always come easy for me.

No, it’s not the physicality of cities, the smells of gardens in my old neighborhoods, streets where pairs of shoes wore off, the colors, the same old familiar skyline, the schools that quenched my disobedient thirst. Somehow my memories are always etched because of people – the hunger for the un-solitude, the smiles, the talks, the laughs, the heated arguments and serendipity of associations, the depth or not of each encounter.

Three cities marked my life – and today I am going back to the one that shattered my fairy tale and marked my entry into true independence. If I were to be the master of my life, I had to take certain tough decisions – and that’s where I took them. And in the process, I found out who and what I was made of – strengths, insecurities, fears, mistakes, joys, victories and losses – all together lumped into what I’ve eventually become. Going back seems awkward. Will the memories flood my senses with some painfully vivid moments, or will I rejoice in the vibrancy of re-discovering what I have for sure forgotten? Not knowing what to expect makes me uncomfortable – and that is enough to make me also schizophrenically excited as I will for sure find something totally new. “If you do not expect the unexpected you will not find it, for it is not to be reached by search or trail..”

Details of my story are truly irrelevant. All people have their own – and it’s the connections, outcomes, conclusions and lessons we can draw from challenges, hardships, struggles, and the hope and inspiration that comes with perseverance, resilience, determination. No matter what, we own our lives – and nobody owns us. And for some of us, it is easier to walk forward and not look back – while some will be doing just the opposite, examining and analyzing what happened so they can learn and move on.

There is no right or wrong here. What matters is what Charles Darwin said: “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change…”

Setting Straight The Toothfairy

October 8, 2011 by Leda Karabela - Leave your comment

Gotta love this kid…Want to make a bet she’ll make a great CEO one day?

I laughed my head off – and then switched to serious learning opportunity mode – even from a 6 year old. Why argue? Kids are pure and real – great teachers if you watch them closely. She’s got all the ingredients for the tastiest and most precise management task recipe:

Clarity: All the facts plain and simple – Four days and counting…(do you know how long four days is in Haylee’s world?)

How she feels about it: Sick and tired all right – mom and pop have told her so. The tooth fairy exists – so, what’s taking her so long? How can you not identify and see her side of the story?

Setting Expectations: We all know the tooth fairy’s job: kiddy ATM – so why not simply “show me the money!..”

Emotional Intelligence: Our little princess definitely has it: She intuitively figured the letter might piss the tooth fairy off – so she softened the “ask” and turned it to all sweetness and smiles – plus opened the door for dialogue and further negotiations (just in case)…

And our Haylee is only 6 – go figure and learn from her savvy, brilliant and cute audacity.

PS: Writing this from Athens, I just wanted to disclose that any associations and mental leaps to Greece’s expectation of a bailout and loan disbursement are purely coincidental and unintentional: The European Commission, the International Monetary Fund, and the European Central Bank are nothing like tooth fairies and the months lapsed are so much more than four days…
Haylee’s note courtesy http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com (serendipity is a wonderful thing :-))

The Generosity Factor

October 2, 2011 by Leda Karabela - Leave your comment

What would happen if you said “yes” to every single person that asked you for money? Foolish, absurd,  ridiculous idea, isn’t it – especially in this awkward climate of instability and uncertainty?

Well… before you dismiss the idea and move on to your grumpy old routine, consider this: “At any moment, we have the chance through our individual actions to transform others’ behaviors...” Why? Because we all  crave to satisfy our need for connection – how we share life with other people, and meaning – believing and serving something bigger than yourself.

Being generous may not be as crazy as you may think (see Freakonomics). And giving money away is not the only way. Help a kid solve a math problem; smile often; take the time to write a thank you note to the customer service rep who solved your problem on the phone (and copy her supervisor); be patient; take the test with the first beggar on the street – define your own way, your unique generosity factor.

For me, it’s time – mentoring and coaching young entrepreneurs, consulting pro bono with some of the causes I believe in – the upcoming TEDxAcademy in Athens being one of them, and while sometimes the money factor creeps in and bugs the hell out of me – I draw back and stay determined to do it all over again and again – it’s more than worth it.

But, don’t listen to me. Sacha Dichter’s speech at NextGen:Charity was posted on TED.com – part of their “best of the web” series.  (93,000 views and counting…!)

And I love what Sacha said:

“I’d rather be an evangelist, a storyteller, an educator, a translator, a table‐pounder, a guy on his soap box, a woman with a megaphone, a candidate for change.  I want to talk to as many people as I can about my ideas – whether in person or in newsletters or on Facebook or Twitter or in the Economist or at the TED conference or at Davos – and capture their imagination about the change I hope to see in the world.”

Do you?

French Manicure: A New Era Definition

September 18, 2011 by Leda Karabela - Leave your comment
“Come to the edge.”
“We can’t. We’re afraid.”
“Come to the edge.”
“We can’t. We will fall!”
“Come to the edge.”
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.
– “Apollinaire Said” by Christopher Logue

 

Maybe it’s just me but I’ve always had a particular impression of French Literature majors: on the intellectual sort of things, sophisticated, artsy types who can recite poetry ad infinitum. So, I was taken aback when the smiling soft-spoken young girl who was giving me a manicure told me she had studied French Literature.

She had just joined the nail salon I usually go to – and being acutely interested in people – I wanted to know more about her. Truth be told – she took me by surprise. All stereotyping aside, it is not customary to meet a college graduate in your neighborhood nail salon. And I wanted to hear her story.

Her mother, a gynecologist at the local state hospital on an Ionian island and her father a navy engineer, insisted on giving their only daughter the perfect education: private tutoring during high school and endless hours of forced studying so “they” could ensure the coveted college degree. Five (very long for her) years later, she graduated and announced she wanted to do something different and open her own business in the beauty industry. Her argument cracked bones: Her gynecologist mother’s base salary at the state hospital after 24 years of service is a little bit more than what her daughter is making by working 10 hour shifts in her second year of training as a beautician supplemented by a modest rental property income inherited by a distant aunt. Our heroine lost the debate with her parents. They gave her an ultimatum and promptly disowned her when she refused to budge.

Hindi tearjerker movie from Bollywood or the real generational clash in a challenging financial crisis where stereotypes need to be broken and molds to be re-invented?

I did not want to argue the economics of a system that allows low base salaries and black holes of grateful patients giving cash envelopes in appreciation of medical services. I did not even want to bring up perceptions of “esteemed professions” and status as I do believe that work – great work – is to be admired at all levels.

The young woman looked me in the eye and said as firmly as I’ve seen and heard anyone say: “I like this very much. I will open my own business – I want to have several spas in a few years. I want to be the best in the market…” We had a long discussion on how she could hypothetically use her French lit degree in her business (the nail salon with poetry readings?) or what would happen if she simply decided to teach and those prospects seemed horrendous – from getting a teaching job to tutoring. She told me how she really struggled with fulfilling her parents’ wishes and we talked about respect, expectations, familial duty and love and the time flew by.

I walked out of there with another nugget to add to my life lessons having one of those inevitable-for-everyone epiphanies about the fleeting nature of life, love and duty.

We tend to think we know best for those we care for. As parents we strive to give the world to our kids fighting our own demons, insecurities, biases and perceptions. As counselors and mentors we applaud initiative, drive, passion and boldness. And I know that meaning – that peculiar inner voice in your head that tells you what is right for you – if it’s loud and strong and clear – is your best guide.

I have no idea if the young aspiring businesswoman will make it and judging from the unemployment stats, her French Lit prospects would be no better. Is she doing the right thing by chasing her dream – even if it sounds quixotic? Are her presumingly loving parents doing the right thing cutting her out? Is it possible that they are even more loving than what she thinks because they are forcing her to fight and struggle on her own for what she wants?And then, how will the injury of rejection and denial heal? And will she be resilient enough to withstand the pressure, the hard work, the challenges of business?

It has been a strange summer. The Aegean blue – bewitching seductress – juxtaposed to the global financial crisis – a Damocles sword – have been teasing and cajoling our collective moods, and for lots of people on this side of the planet, their sense of self-determination, sense of hope and  future prospects have been been seriously wounded. Yet, it is up to us to fight and go on – and for some when there are no other options left, going forward is a one-way street in spite of, beyond, and towards the goals only you have set out to conquer. Your choices, your life…

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