WHY HESITATE?

British Airways & The Idiot Tax

2011-03-08T08:44:00.000-08:00

How is it that so often life clashes with the great and brilliantly glorious ideas that occasionally pop through our brains?

I am not necessarily referring to justice, world peace, bold dreaming, equality and all these noble and majestic uplifting nuggets of what we self-label brilliance and bright ideas that come to all of us from time to time.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if___________? (Fill in your own blank here). In such a happily creative and indisputably brilliant state I decided to buy myself a business class airline ticket. After all, what harm could possibly come out of that other than the negative growth of my bank account?

And in comes British Airways! I find their connections convenient, have thousands of accumulated miles, and for various questionably smart reasons I chose them to take me to my destination. So far so good, right?

Not so fast, am afraid, dear Watson....

Do you see what I mean? At first, I thought something was wrong with the on-line manage your booking system. Then, after the initial two second disbelief, I got it.

If I wanted to choose my seats, I'd have to pay $180 more!

I have to admit - this was one of my dumbest moments. After all, Club World, is "a business class designed around me" or so does the BA description claim. And yes, the privilege of flying business class comes with a much heftier price (maybe just the idiot tax in my case).

The airline industry is the success model for dynamic pricing - and yes, the alternative of stacked human sardines crammed for long-haul flights in uncomfortable and narrow spaces is to me the most persuasive argument. So, while I realize I have no alternative other than to pay the ransom of a higher price for certain health related benefits (such as no lower back pain, stiff neck, occasional deafness and hospital-like food displeasure), I get incessantly mad at the idea that I'd have to pay for everything in order to get on that plane.

So, what do you do? How do you react to something you consider illogical, outrageous, unfair or simply out of place? Yes, there is a choice: Pay or not pay; fly or not fly, do X or the opposite of X; try to find the alternative or simply find some sort of a compromise solution. In my incredulity, I made a vow not to pay the extra and go with the randomness of the last moment seat selection - but this is for this time only. Will I fly BA again? Will I tell people it's a great way to fly to the west coast through Europe? Will I do all these nice customer loyalty things anymore? And the question is will BA (and any other airline out there ever care or listen?)

You know what? In the end, each one of us has to do what needs to be done. While the actions/reactions to any given event, obstacle, happening, injustice or random occurrence are taking place, our state of balance within our own self will naturally find its fine point. No, I am not happy with British Airways and other airlines in general. Neither is the majority of passengers who fly the friendly skies on a daily basis - and the airline industry is not the only culprit.

Yet, I go on with the business of my own business speaking up, letting it out, recognizing the symptom of the declining passenger service phenomenon and eventually moving on with my life and my trip. Do I feel better now that I shared the experience with all of you? Hell, yeah! Absolutely! So, go on spread the word, tell someone, do something. If nothing else, it makes you feel so much better.

PS: Please see British Airways comment/response via twitter: "We added paid pre-seating as an optional extra. You can still choose your seat for free from 24 hours before your flight."

Fortune Favors The Brave

2011-03-04T23:56:00.000-08:00

"Fortes Fortuna Juvat" The phrase means that Fortuna, the Goddess of luck, is more likely to help those who take risks or action. The phrase was shouted by Turnus in Virgil's Aeneid just before he was utterly destroyed by Aeneas' Trojans.

But Latin is only a dead language to some, and this is not a linguistic exercise. It's just that the phrase that took me back to my high school cramming days as exams were crashing down on my tender teen passionate soul and fervor for life. And it is only natural that I could not really grasp the marginal bump with Latin and its effect on my preparation for life and adulthood.

Little did I know back then, that everything you learn matters. Even if you don't know why or how you are going to use the information - in the end, somewhere, somehow you are richer with the knowledge.

So, in my usual exploration detours and lost paradise trails, I devoured the Poke The Box workbook created by a team of brilliant folks to promote the Domino Project, the brainchild of Seth Godin, named after the domino effect— where one powerful idea spreads down the line, pushing from person to person.

Fortes Fortuna Juvat is in a quote in the workbook by Mary South - go check it out.

Disclaimer: I have no connection with Seth Godin or the Domino Project and I don't get anything out of writing about this. I just love the boldness and brainpower of the enterprise. (These days one never knows).

Why Hesitate?

2011-03-01T05:28:00.000-08:00

Following up on last week's Feminists: Born or Raised post and being bombarded by more than my fair share of the Oscars, Natalie Portman's pregnancy, and the Black Swan plot debate, I was pondering on the unavoidable stereotyping and labeling.

(You are wrong. This post will not be about feminism - guys, relax and read on.)

Expectations about women - pregnant women especially - are pretty much cast in stone. When someone pregnant stays on and continues her relentless pace, some people frown.

Characters like Black Swan's Nina clearly show that the steep price of a woman's success will be the death of her traditionally nurturing relationships; her sure stumble under the unbearable weight of her balancing act; and the final betrayal of her dreams and possibly that of her family as well.

In a 2010 study of the Center for Work-Life Policy, co-authors conclude: "It's a classic catch-22: a woman's personal choices, whatever they may be, brand her as not quite leadership material."

Frankly, I am tired of such affirmations of female powerlessness.

All of us, men and women alike, are making thousands of choices on all kinds of different subjects. Men, equal to women, suffer the consequences of their ambitions, having their sons and daughters blame them for their absenteeism as some of them are growing up needing their fathers who are burning the midnight oil working hard at their jobs. While societal expectations are different for men, sometimes the burden of the preconditions ease the difficulty of the choices. Is there a point in looking back and questioning the options and the decisions we have all been making?

From the moment we leave our mom's warm and cozy womb, slapped on our cute little behind to kick start our first independent breath to the moment we die, life's full of sacrifices and that triple shot of compromise. There will always be second guessing, ambivalence and what ifs. But I fail to see the usefulness of looking back, assigning blame, guilt or regret - and most importantly - finding the differences, the cons, the negatives, the difficulties.

Lot's wife turned into a pillar of salt when she turned back. Looking to the future and deciding on the next big (or small) thing you simply have to do gives you a better chance to your own future, your plan, your target.

Does it matter if you are a man or a woman? Why then hesitate?

Feminists: Born or Raised?

2011-02-24T06:47:00.000-08:00

Verbal karate lessons for upcoming feminists... Take a peak.

All delivered by a cute little girl who is no longer voting Barbie and Ken as couple of the year. I would love to keep track of her life and see her in a few years when she falls in love and the life dilemmas start crowding and clouding her vehemence and purity.

Will women in her generation break the mold or will they follow the paths taken by so many mothers, daughters, wives, girlfriends - professionals with their own choices and balancing acts? And what I also wonder.. will the men of her generation be different, as open or not?

Regardless, the influences will be there - as long as our own little girl ends up finding her balance, her own way of doing things and being independent enough to follow her heart and her dreams. One thing I am sure of: if she stays as determined, most likely the man she will end up falling in love with, again most likely, will respect her way of thinking. Ain't love (and determination) grand?

PS: And I also wonder: did her mother do the same - not marrying before having a job first? What do you think?

What To Do About Doing

2011-02-18T07:22:00.000-08:00

“So, what do you do?..." people I meet for the first time, habitually and politely, ask me.

And I launch into my explanation of what it is I do for a living - (other than breathe the air and consume the energy along with all those things that sustain living). And after the blank stare, the courteous smile and the hesitant guttural sound I usually get in response to my answer, it is my turn to smile and, depending on the circumstance, launch into the explanation of what it is I am passionate about - and naturally to me, I also do for a living.

And then, rather recently and with much delay (where is all the time to read everything really going?..) I reviewed Daily Beast's Cheat Sheet on "gigonomics." I half-agree/disagree with Tina Brown who coined the term of the gig economy. While the recession did create the new employment phenomenon of people doing many "gigs" to get by, necessity, brink of bankruptcy and the overall weak economy are not the only reasons people do their own kind of jobs, without bosses, fixed incomes and employer subsidized health plans.

Whatever happens, we are all our own life-masters marching to our very own heart and mind- beat, in spite of the "noise" and interference by others. Even when the choice we make is to do something other than what we want at that particular moment, the choice is still ours to make. And for some of us, meaning and significance - will always feature strongly in our choices and what we actually do for a living.

Addendum: Coaching - executive and leadership kind - is the kind of work that brings on the blank stares and the courteous smile from a lot of people. If you don't know, you can read about what it is here but this is probably -definitely- not enough.

Important But Not Urgent

2011-02-11T06:13:00.000-08:00

After a couple of years worth of work as a solitary and lone soldier, following more than a couple of decades of more traditional executive life, yesterday was the one of these extremely rare days I stayed away from my daily world of emails, tweets, blogs and e-news. To a regular, non-wired person the statement may seem clearer than blue sky. To me and all of those who feel there is no such thing as information overload, it was something remarkable. But, all of a sudden, I woke up and wanted to do something else - something new, something different. I needed to disconnect, zonk out, clear my head and break my pattern.

I needed to remember the freedom to detach, step back and simply walk away and renew my thinking, so I could then re-focus. That was important (highly important) to me.

Those who know me, can attest to the fact that my energy level is usually higher than average high. And grit, perseverance and yes- stubbornness to a certain extent - make it easy for me to focus and dive deep into whatever it is I am doing. The fact that I am in love with what I do and how I do it, having the freedom to just walk away for a short time to look at things from a different perspective also counts.

So, what do you do when you are in a similar situation? And please don't talk to me about the luxury of being able to do it or not. Not tuning in and ignoring your inner eye may be more harmful than you think. As a matter of fact, not taking the crucially mandatory time-out will hamper whatever it is you are doing.

Legendary Steven Covey said it best: "You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage—pleasantly, smilingly, non-apologetically, to say 'no' to other things. And the way you do that is by having a bigger 'yes' burning inside."

His acclaimed 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People - is a great read - classic and for some hollier than the Bible. One of the more provocative concepts in the book is that of the four quadrants of activity management

The separation of urgent from important is not as simple or straightforward. Depending on the moment, the mood, the personality and the level of maturity and experience, we all have a tendency to focus on urgent stuff, mistaking crises, pressing problems or deadlines (quadrant I) and interruptions such as "unavoidable" meetings, phone calls, chit-chat (quadrant III) as important. You must recognize the pattern. You know instinctively exactly what Covey means.

So, take your own time-out. Ask yourself that critical question: How important and how critical is what you want to do/think/make/say? And don't assume that just because something is urgent, that it is also important.

Knowing how to objectively tell which is which and act on what's TRULY important may make all the difference in your world - and hopefully somebody else's, too.

The Disobedience Junkie Poll

2011-01-19T23:49:00.000-08:00

Read the Disobedience Junkie post and take the poll...

The Disobedience Junkie

2011-01-19T10:47:00.000-08:00

I have a love/hate relationship with my navigation system. It's like these sort of doomed relationships where one sole transgression leads to permanent trust issues.GPS is supposed to know what it's doing - after all this is why navigation systems were invented: To help you find the way.

So, why is it that I quite often choose to think that the satellite is actually wrong? (99% of the times it's not but I often think I am on to that one percent margin of error).

I confess. I am not good at following orders, directions, main roads, regulations and generic authority driven mandates. I am significantly better at following my heart, my gut, my hunches and with an inborn curiosity about stuff in general, it's much more natural for me to try out the different, the alternative, the untried. While change is often uncomfortable for some people, I guess I've grown used to craving it.

So, when I follow directions, I feel I may be missing something wonderfully weird that may be out there for me to discover. But, sometimes labeling me as a spoiled, insolent brat who has a thing against authority is unavoidable. And while I pause and bare my soul saying how I am compelled to act the way I do, casual and plain-clothed bystanders declare I am nothing but a rebel without a cause. But I don't mind. I am a new knowledge addict readily identified as the disobedience junkie - and if that means occasionally getting lost in spite of my GPS, it's o.k - small price to pay for my discoveries and explorations.

After all the journey is often so much more interesting than the destination.

In Love

2011-01-13T06:09:00.000-08:00

Are you in love?...

No, this is not that kind of a blog. I am not getting personal with your love life.

This is not about money either but the subject is coming up.

As you have might have suspected, it is about the passionate love affair with life- and without loving that life - yours - grey may be your color of choice.

Warren Buffett, the Omaha Oracle, as he has been called because of his savvy business sense and hugely successful track investment record, says that love is what he's looking for when choosing to invest in a company. It's the love for the business, "the twinkle in the eye," the passion.

"I look into their eyes and try to figure out whether they love the money, or if they love the business…if they don’t love the business, I can’t put that [money] into it..." you'll hear him say on the video below.

So, I'll ask again: are you in love?...

Links of the same chain

2011-01-07T02:05:00.000-08:00

"...No man is an island, entire of itself..." John Donne (1572-1631).

I had started writing this festive (and pensive) post a week ago, on New Year's Eve. Various distractions, interferences and higher priority items got in the way and I now know why I hadn't done it. The right trigger had not pushed me enough to express what was in my head that particular day.

And yesterday, a business acquaintance - a very smart, ambitious venture capital type implied that business issues have to do with the business of the enterprise, numbers, performance, strategic thinking, investment, operational excellence, and all these "hard" key performance indicators.

And of course he is right - however he is also wrong. Terribly wrong as a matter of fact.

Because the outcome of any transaction, business or personal, is determined by the quality of the interaction and the exchange. And that is solely based on the type of relationship one wants, allows, exercises and finally succeeds (or fails) at.

And so here is my one-week delayed greeting to 2011:

Playful New Year mood that I am this morning - I am personally content. Wearing the grand self-auditor hat, I am happy with all the connections, relationships, collaborations and opportunities I explored and worked on this last year and the windows they opened up. Time for reflection and review and last minute tune up for the race ahead. Looking back while looking ahead - or looking ahead without ever turning back? Measuring, evaluating and surveying the things you were great at, the failures, the lessons, the successes and all the usual stuff.

People are links of the same human chain and no man is truly an island. And in the ocean of ideas, feelings and thoughts, the waves are always more interesting when many voices speak their own individual and collective truth.

Each one of us does about the same - more or less, to a different degree, with variations and gradations. It's irrelevant really as long as you are satisfied with your very "best." You either tried or you didn't or maybe you tried but not as hard? Or are you really happy that you tried as hard as you could?

I hope your math and calculations come out right for you. Have an interesting 2011, everyone. If you can "smell" the novelty, the fascination, the curiosity and the excitement - you will have a fulfilling year as well.

MMXI Day 7

The Comfortable Fit

2010-12-31T04:33:00.000-08:00

Stiletto heels and business suits - they go great together, don't you think?

Ok, let me explain for those of you who instinctively did not click on the link above. Please do!

Manylogue, a collective blog and "a fictitious word meant to describe the intersection between individual thinking and public dialogue" is about creative pluralism and the free flow of thoughts and ideas. Check it out -it's worth it - but don't take my word for it - see for yourself.

I joined its team of contributors yesterday and posted my view on gender gap in the spirit of cross collaboration and exchange.

As long as you fit in your own shoes comfortably and don't feel constrained to censor your own voice it's always exciting to find a group of linchpins- and work with them towards a shared goal. For those intensively passionate extroverts - it's a no brainer. It's a team, a human puzzle, a space with shared pieces, mosaic of ideas - manylogue. Life is about stories and people - the interaction, the exchange, the dialogue - it makes us all richer as long as your shoe fits you well.

Do visit us and let us know what you think!

Interesting and fulfilling 2011 - my wish to all.

Achilles and Emotional Intelligence

2010-12-28T07:29:00.000-08:00

Achilles' heel...

I seriously doubt that Homer ever imagined that Achilles, one of the most intriguing Iliad heroes would end up being mostly associated with his weak and vulnerable spot - his tendon. However, the merciless 20/20 hind-sight historic viewpoint has proved so many people wrong with both their expectations and predictions.

Let's face it: we all have our own tender heels and let's not blame our stumbling and occasional downfalls on Paris' well aimed and Apollo guided arrows. It's no coincidence that Achilles was also infamous for his frequent rages. He would fly off the handle and the Greeks would almost lose the war.

But let's fast forward to the 21st century and the year 2011. With 3 days left for the grand entrance of the new year and the customary and introspective grandiose decision and resolution making deals, wouldn't you want to have the magic wand to stop trouble before it happens?

While there are all kinds of trouble spots, moods, behaviors and inborn personality tendencies that we need to tame in order not to fall flat on our faces as we deal with our colleagues, teams, loved ones and a bunch of other people around us, I will point the finger to the all time classic burst of anger . And the issue is the outburst. It's that moment in time where the surge of adrenaline makes you blindly stupid.

Picture this: you are in the office, and you read this terribly upsetting email. You are furious and you write - correction - you blast off the sender, and then you turn pink and red and purple as you realize you already pressed the send button. Disaster in the making...

So, while Microsoft has already provided for your rush response if you are using Outlook, here comes a brilliant gadget, Emotional Tone Check, from Lymbix a Canadian start up, recognized among the top 2010 innovative ideas by the New York Times. The point is not peddling the product - the issue is to resist you - yes, your emotional outburst, the reaction, the rage, and whatever will get you in that space in the first place.

Click on picture to see on YouTube (full screen)

But if on the other hand, a cute little emoticon smiley face will make you not do it, then by all means - just try it out. As long as you think about it later. Promise?

Bah-Humbug Thoughts on Christmas Eve

2010-12-24T04:52:00.000-08:00

Ebenezer Scrooge and Bah-humbug...

Written in 1843, Dickens' Christmas Carol infamous character seems to be our favorite and instinctively fitting hero of our era, collective monomaniacal consumerism and hollow sentimentality.

All these cute and touching Christmas and politically correct westernly termed "Holiday Season's" Greetings to avoid offending the rest of the world religious beliefs, e-cards, and unbelievably "heavy" emails with their cutsy and heavy attachments that drive you nuts especially when you are desperately trying to download them on your iphone, blackberry or any other vulnerably "smart" phone...

How do you really feel about them?

Tradition, habit, socially acceptable norms and obligations or a genuine need to connect and signal your love, friendship, affection, good will or whatever emotion is fitting for the recipient of those warm holiday wishes?

How sincere are you when you broadcast your wishes to your universe of family, friends, acquaintances and to commercialize the point for any business - the greetings to your "loyal" customers, suppliers, colleagues and any other commercial partner of sorts?

"Habit is a great deadener." So, if you do it out of this wonderful habitual obligatory warmth accompanying the December spirit - just don't. If on the other hand, you do see this as an opportunity to speak out and express what's in your heart - then by all means, do!

Sometimes, in our rushed, chronologically and emotionally challenged world, we forget all about gratitude, appreciation and acknowledgment of those people who are making our lives just a bit or - in many cases - so much better. And Christmas and the holidays -like all symbolic representations - sometimes lack the authenticity and in extension the depth and the true meaning and significance of the gesture, the real, heart-felt wish for someone to do better, the artful and tactful act of giving.

In the extreme commercialization of everything, let's not all just be like everyone else. Speak in your own voice, use your own words, feel your feelings and if and when appropriate, share them with those you must. But not just with everybody - because this is what everyone else does...

P.S. Thanks to Umair Haque for the inspiration: "...While, admittedly, business has done its bah-humbug brain-dead best to try and shamelessly commandeer Christmas in the haggard name of crass, vulgar consumerism, try as the masters of the universe might, they can't stop the holidays from being about the deeper elements of an authentically well-lived life: lasting relationships, human intimacy, animating passion, enduring ideals, higher purpose, shared values, meaning (and maybe a homemade fruitcake or two)..." From Umair Haque's HBR blog The Economic Legacy of Ebenezer Scrooge.

Crybabies vs. Michelangelos

2010-12-16T04:11:00.000-08:00

Some days there's nothing. And what I mean by nothing is the blank, the hollowness, the void, the lack of excitement, enthusiasm and spark. It happens to all of us. Something or someone disappoints us, lets us down and we end up in a grey zone of pessimism, misery and negativity - or even worse: we float into the state of great indifference.

And spending a short time in such a state probably does us all a lot of good as this is the state we really want and need to avoid. Now, how short or long this state really is, is only up to us and the choices we will or won't make.

I can hear your excuses - loud and clear: It's not all up to me; I can't help it; I was let down; the sky has fallen or whatever.

Come on: at times like these we are nothing but big crybabies. We want to vent, fume, cry, bitch, complain, and do, say, feel all these beautifully sorrowful emotional verbs that in essence all lead to the same miserable conclusion: There is your ugly problem staring you in the eye. But, hey: it's your problem. However you want to blame someone or something else, the fact remains that the problem is still yours.

So, get out your painting brushes, materials, colors, papers, feelings, thoughts, ideas, frustrations, words, and anything else you feel you need - and think of Michelangelo. Be a Michelangelo and start dealing with whatever it is you need to solve.

And, if you really want a kick in the rear end to get you started, do something simple. Go to your inspiration library and pull the story of someone whose life was/is harder than yours. Be humbled, see what they went through and how they overcame. And if you don't have a library - maybe it's time to start putting together your very own and personal inspiration collection.

And if you don't have anything right off the bat, borrow some of mine:

Tererai Trent

David Hill

Steve Jobs: How to Live Before you Die

Just build your own library soon!

Misfits and Crazy ones

2010-12-09T03:04:00.000-08:00

"There's just this for consolation: an hour here or there when our lives seem, against all odds and expectations, to burst open and give us everything we've ever imagined."
---"The Hours" by Michael Cunningham

It's rare to appreciate the present for what it really is. You look at it from another point in time and the lens has already changed and the view is different and history is already in the making. And those that may have seemed crazy, rebellious, ridiculous, out of place, insolent, are right there as the heroes of the future: the misfits who inspire, who dare to dream, who can make THE difference.

As I am thinking and writing this, I am also wondering. Am I getting to be too "New Age and California" style? Do I have a hint of "Pollyannaish' in me? The world seems grey at the moment - and I dare to think of crazy, inspirational stuff?

Actually, I do. Without the pause, the ideas, the dreams, the desire and passion to move forward - our days will be just a series of burned out candles - and I refuse to see it or do it that way. So, breathe in and take in the crazies below - the clip is a classic - tribute to some of the most creative minds ever....

Just Do It!

2010-11-30T08:22:00.000-08:00

Having flown into New York for a brief business trip, I once again find myself in the familiar place of "virtumulti"-tasking. Clients in Europe and the US go on with their scheduled calls, the NY based business appointments are kept, and the holiday buzz and the lighting of the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center that will disrupt today's NYC traffic won't stop life's on-going performance.

Nothing unusual about such heightened level of alertness, activity and global holographic presence. But as the anxiety levels of time zones, jet lag, multiculturalism and performance expectations rise, I keep on thinking that the common denominator in the seamless operation of such complexity is trust and faith in our desirability to overcome whatever it is we need to overcome. And plenty of times the issue is the other people left physically behind.

Do these team members in the other continent feel secure in my absence? Can they still rely on my help, availability, virtual presence? Can business go on as usual while I am gone with a minimum time delay due only to the time difference?

Multinationals have been at this game for decades. But for smaller companies and individual clients for whom global and international projects may be less common, trust, relationships and reliance on the whole team is vital. So, let's get clear on the expectations, the deliverables and agree on who will do what when and then just do it. (*see note below).

Do people get thrown off because they are in unfamiliar territory, outside their office box, their comfort zone? Sure they do - it's part of human nature. However, problems can be assessed by the quality of their solutions.

While solutions may not be immediately visible or within reach, over time and with the right mix of people, ideas, ingenuity and of course the appropriate resources - including the trust and determination to fix whatever needs to be fixed - the challenges can be transformed into processes of planning and execution.

So, you must have guessed by now that I am thinking of a specific solution to some problem. And I know that the great thing about problems is the way you end up finding their solutions. Getting to utilize all the available kind of support each one of us has at his/her disposal, whether it is people, points of reference, money, ideas, infrastructure or whatever it takes, is really dependent on the degree of your own decisiveness. So, don't let go of your belief that you can always try - and try a bit harder until you know for sure that you've done your absolute best.

Oh, and don't forget: keep on building the trust with the people that help you do all the things you do - because even if you think you are all alone and you do everything yourself, the truth is that someone is giving you the strength to go on....

* I cannot think of the phrase and not make the attribution to Nike's 'Just Do It' ad, that first came out back in 1988. It quickly became both universal and intensely personal. It spoke of sports. It invited dreams. It was a call to action, a refusal to hear excuses, and a license to be eccentric, courageous and exceptional. It was Nike.

All We Are Saying...

2010-11-23T23:45:00.000-08:00

I am not impartial. I have to make the comment and disclosure up front.

As one of the judges on the jury of the Athens Startup weekend, I spent the last 3 days with some brilliant and inspiring young men and women who still have the passion, determination and commitment to work hard and chase their dreams. Young aspiring entrepreneurs fighting for their ideas. Exactly the sort of injection our global village soul desires.

So, this is a plea: please click on the link and CAST YOUR VOTE (preferably for the Athens winning project, Webscrib).

I told you. I am biased and personally involved and I am now shamelessly soliciting your vote to boost the young Greek team. I admit it.I think it's for a great cause and fairness is the least of my concerns in this case.

And as I was going through the videos of the winning projects, I caught myself humming and paraphrasing John Lennon's lyrics:

"All we are saying... is give youth (and peace, too) a chance...."

Fast Failure

2010-11-20T03:04:00.000-08:00

Energized by the power of ideas that have been free floating at Athens Startup weekend last night, I marveled at all the wonderful entrepreneurs who came on stage to pitch their business theories. Some were phenomenally articulate, others were like amateur actors during rehearsal, some were shy and vague and unclear but they all shared the same miraculous and wonderful quality: Courage!

Not the courage to speak out and share their dream venture, but courage to fail. And contrary to popular belief, failure can be such a wonderful thing sometimes!

"We have for many years promoted the concept of fast failure as a means to building innovative business models..." says Eric Lefcofsky, founder of overnight success Groupon, a site that features coupons and discounts from local business to be shared by an online community.

We've been taught that failure is the closest to a dirty word. It's one of these rare concepts that by itself it's categorized by its opposite: success. And if you want to be successful, you can't possibly want to fail. But hold on a second! How can you possibly know what success is all about until you've actually tried again and again and yet one more time to make whatever it is you are trying even better?

So, how is it that people in general hate failure so much they are not even willing to forgive it in others? Why is it that in some societies, once the label sticks - it's hard to get rid of it. Silicon Valley is the one place that became legendary for its tolerance and acceptance of failure.Technology legends from Netscape founder Marc Andreessen to Apple founder Steve Jobs have all experienced failure, revived their careers, and then gone on to change the world.

So, here's to all of you, business gladiators vs. wannabees - fall, get up, fall and get up again - until you become an expert at whatever it is you want to do and stop falling.

Grow or Die: Lessons of Survival

2010-11-15T07:31:00.000-08:00

*I originally wrote this post for the website of Athens Startup Weekend, an intense 54 hour marathon event which focuses on building a credible business, bringing together people with different skillsets - primarily software developers, graphics designers and business people to build applications and develop a commercial case around them. I am delighted to be supporting new ideas and ventures that have a chance to take off . For more information or if you are interested in participating, please see here.

As our business grows, we have to get a lot smarter. The need is absolutely compelling. We understand the business better than those around us, but sometimes we may think we know everything we already need to know.

Then – caboom! Reality strikes: “didn’t know that, did ya?” Your business is in turmoil. Chaos. Confusion. Pigs flying home and Apocalypse is near.

So, how do you get smarter? How do you grow? And is there anything else you can do other than keep on learning? It was Anthony J. D’Angelo who said: “Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow.”

So here’s to those who don’t want to give up but want to keep on thriving:

Accept You Don’t Know Everything

You’re clever. I know this because you’re reading this. I also know I’m preaching to the converted – that’s why you’re here. Perhaps you should forward this post to the colleague know-it-all. And if you’ve had this forwarded to you because you are the colleague know-it-all and you’re about to stop reading because you really don’t need to learn what’s in here since you know everything, let me ask you this: What drupaceous fruit were Hawaiian women once forbidden by law to eat? And no cheating on Google. See? You don’t know everything.

If you’re not sure you fall in this camp, go read this post about being Mr. Smartypants – it’ll give you a few ideas on how to think about this problem. Once you accept you don’t know it all, you’ve opened your mind to being better at what you do.

Figure Out What You Want to Know

I’m sure most of you don’t need to know the fruit (coconut) Hawaiian women were once forbidden to eat.

But you should lay out what you do need to know. Step back from your business. Identify a few major trends that will affect it in the coming 2-3 years. Ask yourself how much you know about those trends. Target the one you’re dumbest about. You can also ask “what does my organization need to do better” and target getting smarter in that space. What do you want to know and learn about? Create a little curriculum list for yourself entitled “Stuff I Gotta Learn More About This Year” and use it as a checklist. Monitor your progress against that learning agenda in 2011.

Go Learn

Find the opportunities to get this new knowledge. It could be a book, a training course, a seminar, reading blogs, or simply sitting down to lunch with people who are really smart about that topic. Go down deep into the subject. Keep your brain open to new ideas, tools and techniques. Challenge conventional wisdom and ask yourself how the new knowledge changes your existing view of the world.

Apply the learning too.

Pick targeted aspects of the new ideas and try them out. For example, if you’re a social media idiot, open a twitter account and start following and tweeting. See how you can do old things in new ways. You must apply the tools to truly learn how to use them and integrate them into your existing knowledge base.
Learning is a lifelong sport. The minute you stop, you die. What new things are you learning about right now? How do you keep yourself focused on learning and growing?

And please don’t tell me you absolutely don’t have time to go learn and do…. Because then you are already dying…

Livability: Beyond Political Terms

2010-11-12T03:44:00.000-08:00

Going through the news and my high speed virtual treasure chest, I happily uncovered Streetfilms, a non-profit Oregon organization that wants to encourage "livable streets" by producing films supporting community advocacy to help make roads work better for pedestrians and cyclists.

The story and the video make all the more difference here in Athens, as this coming Sunday is the second round of municipal elections. And while in my naive mind, "municipal" is supposed to refer to our neighborhoods, streets, local communities and cities, somehow the gigantic battery ram of politics has hijacked the real agenda of how our lives may become better and has turned the game and the popular vote into something else - bigger and beyond localities. Are we risking deflecting the real issues that plague our daily lives especially in big cities like Athens, San Francisco, London or Seoul, the unhappy host of the G-20 summit?

Streetfilms' phrase "livable streets" refers to the work of David Appleyard, whose research into how people experience streets with different traffic volumes was published in 1981. Appleyard's work advanced thought on traffic, and showed that heavy traffic has a strongly negative effect on social cohesion.

Revisiting Appleyard's 1981 work, Streetfilms hase created animated 3-D visualizations of the data collected from the 30-year old urban planning study.

Revisiting Donald Appleyard's Livable Streets from Streetfilms on Vimeo.

Instead of arguing, fighting and debating policies, wouldn't it be so much more useful to think about how to make our own backyards more livable?

Poetry, Authenticity and Other Things

2010-11-08T01:58:00.000-08:00

Nicholas Kristof in his NYT op-ed column last week after the Democratic losses in the US elections, made an impassioned plea to Obama. "Mr. Obama, It’s Time for Some Poetry" is the title of his post and I smiled as I read it.

I am sure all of us who were seduced by the US President's message of hope and change, were also taken over by his passion, conviction and determination. But, then he lost it. No more conviction, no will, no fire. The romance and the passion went out the window and we were left feeling empty, worried and betrayed.

On the way to real governance and the logistics of execution of power, Obama along with so many politicians including the ones who are fighting their good fights in the Greek municipal elections yesterday and next Sunday, forget and lose focus - if they ever had one to begin with.

In today's era of handlers, lobbyists, image makers, speechwriters and "glow" artists there is an expected amount of polish that most of the savvy audiences recognize and accept. It goes with the territory and I believe even to untrained eyes the signs of studied oratory brilliance may seem fake at times.

However, authenticity always shows. A huge part of "enlightened" leadership is about the capacity to see the view from someone else's point of view. Empathy, compassion and those under/overrated soft skills always come up during elections and business leaders should take their cue from perilous times like these.

It is not always about data, statistics, taxes, pension funds and budgets. Trust is a commodity but somehow not a lot of people know how to trade in it anymore. And fake trust ain't gonna cut it anymore. So, hooray for poetry - as melancholy as it sounds our chances with the poets may be better.

Personal Branding: It's All Your Choice

2010-10-27T08:14:00.000-07:00

I was with some great friends last night and somehow the discussion turned extremely personal.

In essence it was all about personal branding. Who do people think you are? Does it really matter if they think you are somebody different from whom you really feel you are? Do you really try to tell your story to convince anyone you are not really who they think you are? Is it worth it? And, the heretic question: if someone who is considered a friend/ally/trusted team member does not even seem interested to hear your side of the story, is it worth spending time and energy attempting to change their mind? And what about these personas we all have in our interchangeable roles?

We all get misunderstood often and sometimes the interpretation proves detrimental. Most people care deeply about how others see them. Interestingly enough, while they care, they do very little to avoid misunderstandings. Social cues, habits, rules and norms that govern our daily lives and the social fabric of our worlds are more influential than our gut feelings. We have learned to act a certain way - and that's our way - and we think our way is the only path to walk and act on.

We all have our reasons. We do things and we are the only ones who know why we do what we do. The issue is what - if anything - we stand to lose or gain if we shared our thinking with others. Open versus closed; defined versus uncommunicative; well rounded versus linear.

So, once again the decision is all yours to take. However, what do you have to lose if you made it a habit to do just these 3 things:

Study: Astute people know they must learn from friends, co-workers, bosses, subordinates customers, and partners before they can do anything else. And you must learn first before pursuing any other goal—otherwise, you risk operating in a vacuum.

Dialog. Exchange transforms a relationship from that of shouting out one-way messages to a dialog between equals. And then it's an engagement, a deepening, another point of view.

Support. People need help at different times, from doing and understanding things to feeling heard and listened to - simply because they need it.

So, how about giving a hand - just as a trial - and then you can see if you will be less misunderstood. Maybe just maybe.

Norma Jean and her Arthur

2010-10-24T07:04:00.000-07:00

“A poet on a street corner trying to recite to a crowd pulling at her clothes.”

The quote is attributed to Arthur Miller describing his lovely wife. She epitomized the "dumb blond" term. Was she really that dumb or so clever to let her handlers - those men "protectors" make her the "smartest dumb blond in history?"

Such a sad and bittersweet story. "Fragments" a new book that's due by the end of the month will try to shed light to her dysfunctional childhood and a glimpse into her tumultuous love life and her dependency (reliance?) on powerful men.

In my view, Marilyn's story- like a lot of sad stories - has to do with the dark side of things. The cat and mouse game. Were all these male powerhouses (Arthur Miller, Saul Bellow, JFK, Yves Montand, Joe DiMaggio) so taken by her eroticism and beauty?

What was she offering that they did not have already?

And how is it that so often the end is quite significantly contradictory to the start?

There are so many Norma Jeans out there. Plenty of those find their own versions of Millers and DiMaggios. While they never make it to Marilyn's or contemporary Paris' sorrowful celebrity status, the principles are the same. Human relationships at some level are all about give and take. The challenge is to find the secret leverage that tips the scale - always- to the one side.

So, here's to all of you Norma Jeans -beware of your Athurs and Joes - life's much more complicated than beautiful screens and mirrors.

The 99% Rule

2010-10-20T10:08:00.000-07:00

I am often asked about inspiration.

It usually has to do with my writing. For me, it has always been about action - I think, then do and therefore I am.

But, then earlier tonight I stumbled on good old Thomas Edison and his famous quote - the 99% rule about genius being 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. And right then and there - serendipitously - there was tonight's aha moment - the inspiration:

Hard work, folks. Nothing happens unless you sweat it out.

You get the idea; you mill it over in your head; you sleep on it, get over the nightmares, the what ifs, the possibilities, the bad case scenario, and then how long will you actually spend thinking about the idea?

Unless it takes shape and form - by itself the idea - whatever it is, remains in the sphere of the dream, the untouchable, the ethereal, the theory. Do your thoughts really count? Maybe - who am I to say otherwise?

But, unless you show me, I won't really see...

The video below is short - maybe it will be a waste of your time - but if you skip it, how will you actually know?

Wishes Big Enough To Change the World

2010-10-20T06:39:00.000-07:00

TRAILER " WOMEN ARE HEROES" from SOCIAL ANIMALS on Vimeo.

JR, a moving and innovative artist who exhibits freely in the world’s streets, has been named the recipient of the 2011 TED Prize — an award granting $100,000 and something much bigger: a wish to change the world with the support of the TED community.

JR represents a new chapter in the TED Prize. While a seemingly unconventional recipient, his work matches the creativity and innovative spirit of TED’s community, and his art inspires people to view the world differently –- and want to change it for the better.

The Little Engine That Could

2010-10-18T09:43:00.000-07:00

Quick: Will you be crazily upset if you lost ten thousand dollars?

Or will you be so absurdly happy if you won the same amount in the lottery?

Which emotion will be stronger, lasting and more powerful?

Studies show that the anguish for the lost money is much stronger and longer lasting than the joy of winning. Lottery winners, a year later, are not happier than those who didn’t win. At the same time, survivors of serious traffic accidents who got paralyzed as a result, are not as unhappy as you'd expect; they rate their joy in living out small victories like lifting a finger as high - as the lottery winners.

But, overall human brains have a tendency to focus on the negative.

Martin Seligman , the "daddy" of the Positive Psychology movement argues that the brain is hard wired to be negative. Based on evolutionary theory, his thinking stems from our homo sapiens ancestors who would not have survived to kick start our genealogy lines unless they were tuned on to danger - mammoths, floods, earthquakes, glaciers and plain daily life in the 'hood during the Pleistocene epoch. We certainly inherited the pessimistic genes that served us well in our game of survival.

So, worrying is a natural and default position - unless you do something to control and limit it.

The cynics will scoff here. Sure - great idea - but...how do you "arrest" your own thoughts from the gloominess of the bad case scenario, the fear and the anxiety of all the things that might go wrong, the pain you feel is coming on.

So, how about resilience?

"More than education, more than experience, more than training, a person’s level of resilience will determine who succeeds and who fails. That’s true in the cancer ward, it’s true in the Olympics, and it’s true in the boardroom," wrote Dean Becker in the Harvard Business Review (May 2002).

The study of resilience started back in the 1960s and 1970s with psychologists who were studying children growing up in high risk environments. They realized that some kids developed into well-rounded and healthy adults, despite the difficulty they faced in their lives. Those who appeared to be doing great psychologically, in spite of poverty, hunger or war were quickly seen as being resilient, stress-resistant, survivors or "invulnerable".

Whether facing small scale set-backs, like ruining your favorite pair of shoes in the mud or extremely difficult situations like the death of a family member or your house burning down, some people pick themselves up and get on with life. Others don't. They get stuck, choose to stay on at victim status or sink deeper into depression and despair.

In an edgy, restless and rapidly changing world, boosting individual as well as community resilience could help inoculate against depression and pessimism, while boosting self-confidence, achievement levels, performance and productivity. Is there a secret? Can you teach resilience - is there a recipe to make the switch?

So, here's a quick and dirty shopping list:

See the humor in spite of the toughness and the difficulty - look for the other side of things - around the box, inside out or whatever as long as you don't let yourself stay in the cage.
Have Plans A & B ahead of time. While destiny, "kismet" or fate are widely accepted - don't take comfort into that. Take action, be in control.
Dare to abandon “unattainable goals” - after all there's a fine line between quitting and being smart.
If you can't see the bigger mission and the end-goal, start with smaller ones. Little goals are better than no goals at all.
Connect with people who can help - after all sharing is part of the human experience and decreases the feeling of isolation.
Never, ever be afraid to fail. The greatest lessons come from failures - so give yourself permission to flunk - that will teach you how to get up and move on.

So, next time you feel like giving up or giving in - don't. Take your own bet - only you will know who won.

Disruption Deficit Disorder

2010-10-12T07:38:00.000-07:00

Blame it on the weather but my mood was "strange" all day yesterday. Being in Athens in early October, I was mentally prepped to expect sunny, warm Indian summer days, and light, lots of natural, reddish, shining and glowing light to accompany the thrill of being back "home."

Instead, yesterday, I caught myself swimming in the blues - no, not the aqua marine Aegean waters but the depressive, melancholic blues brought on by the uncertainty of transition and change. Almost everyone I know is of the esteemed opinion that I committed a major sin by taking the decision to leave Silicon Valley and come back to Greece. While fleeting attacks of my resident-terrorist lizard brain instantaneously feel paralyzing, my stubbornness and determination are much stronger than the weak tension of my uncertainty.

A collective national depression seems to be taking its toll on the Greek psyche - and somehow yesterday I discovered I was being sucked in. But then, I came to my senses. Is it easier to fail just a bit? Safer to fit in rather than stand out? Wiser to abide by the "better safe than sorry" idea?

Depending on the stakes - sometimes the answer to all of the above is a resounding yes and we have all used caution navigating our very own Scylla and Charybdis.

However, leaps of progress are rarely made from the safety of one's perch. Disruption is crucial to fuel the creative anxiety and tension necessary to create the novel, the avant-garde, the opposite, the shift, the significant and distinguishable difference.

So refusing to succumb to the malaise of D.D.D. (Disruption Deficit Disorder as defined in the Harvard Business Review by Umair Haque) I want to try - even if times are hard, in spite of the odds, against the tide.

After all, sometimes, the lesson is worth so much more if you dare to be stupid.

Stockholm Surprise: A non-political commentary

2010-10-08T03:50:00.000-07:00

Lou Xiaobo was just awarded the Nobel Peace Prize while China immediately reacted by announcing that the prize committee violates its principles by honoring 'criminal' Liu Xiaobo.

The surprising move is trending on twitter and somehow a wind is blowing. This is not a political move or is it? After all Obama was last year's recipient while both the Iraq and Afghanistan issues are not settled - a year later.

I should have prefaced this post by saying that this is not a political stance.

While mental and of course physical freedom, however one chooses to define it, is - for me - the most fundamental and basic value, this is about a generational and basic antipathy against restriction, oppression and any form of dictatorship. Institutional edifices are going to be rattled by the effect of the wave. However, some things will remain - as usual -unchanged.

I was simply wondering though: How come this year's decision is so very different from the Obama choice last year? Political motivations, geopolitical games that have to do with the yuan and the dollar, lobbying secret pow-wows that determine the next move on the chess board and the infinite possibilities.

But, one thing is certain : I applaud all the people who have the courage to stand up for what they believe in spite of the pain and the hardship their beliefs can bring on as a consequence. ...and I am very glad for this year's choice.

Burning Heart

2010-10-06T23:59:00.000-07:00

Reading earlier yesterday, the latest McKinsey Extraordinary Results Global Survey I paused at the concept of "meaning."

"...We all recognize leaders who infuse their life and work with a sense of meaning. They convey energy and enthusiasm because the goal is important to them personally, because they are actively enjoying its pursuit, and because their work plays to their strengths. Our survey results show that, of all the dimensions of centered leadership, meaning has a significant impact on satisfaction with both work and life; indeed, its contribution to general life satisfaction is five times more powerful than that of any other dimension...."

And then this image below came back to me - jumbled thoughts - but great ones. Click on it to enlarge and read on.

Size and How it May Matter or Not

2010-10-03T04:36:00.000-07:00

I walked into my apartment in Athens four days ago after a year's absence.

Coming back from the US (no, not Texas but everything in general is larger on the other side of the Atlantic), the first thing that struck me was how small my place looked. Cozy, funky, familiar and warm - many characterizations that could also be attributed - however the first word that flashed on my brainscreen was "small."

Used to much bigger spaces, my spatial perspective went into overdrive comparison mode. My daughter was semi-offended: "What, you forgot what this place is like?" she asked incredulously...I paused. My coaching hat came on. I had to go into deeper structure. How is it that out of all the data, the feelings, the sensations of opening the door and coming "home", size was the one that made the first impression? What does this feeling of "smallness" represent? Is it that I commented on how much smaller my Greek apartment really is, or how much bigger my California home is? Was it the size that mattered or the feeling of suddenly becoming encased, engulfed, rooted and at the same time exposed, vulnerable and alert - ready for yet another new chapter.

So, here I am going through the repatriation pains - Athens traffic, noise, idiosyncrasies - Greek norms to which I have to get re-adjusted, jet lag, adjustments and re-acquaintances. In the end, and very shortly I will recover and go about my manic pace. Home is the place the heart recognizes. And most of the time - size - really, truly and truthfully this time - does not really matter.

Au Revoir and Hasta La Vista

2010-09-26T15:06:00.000-07:00

I paddle - no, not as a sport. For a living actually. I am on the water all the time; I use the oars; I defy the storms and I keep on rowing though life. Easy, moderate, hard, damn difficult choices - and somehow I tend to navigate towards the hard decisions. I don't hesitate - I just get on my mental boat and off I go like Ulysses.

But somehow, wherever I go - I join my team and the team is this great bunch of people that make all the difference in the world, my world. Some of them are on this side of the ocean, others are on the other side, thousands of miles away. But, in the end they are the ones who seem to pull together with me in making this whole task of paddling so much easier.

No, leaving the one bunch is never easy because I join my other team. But somehow, it's never good bye but always au revoir or hasta la vista. And whatever happens - I always come back because feelings and relationships and the bonds I have are stronger than the wind, the air, the distance. So, this is a promise - I will always be there - wherever I go, after all as I have said before: Closeness has nothing to do with distance.

PS: I learned in writing this today: The difference between paddling and rowing is that with rowing the oars have a mechanical connection with the boat whereas with paddling the paddles are hand-held with no mechanical connection - therefore I paddle and I do not oar...

The "Hypomanic" Edge and the Fertility of your Brainpower

2010-09-20T17:41:00.000-07:00

Waking up around 4.30 in the crack of dawn is never fun. No, my insomniac very early rising in the last several weeks cannot be attributed to jet lag. No transcontinental travel, no apparent major stress source (if you look hard enough, you'll always find something), healthy as a horse - I have simply been waking up in the dark, doing some major heavy duty thinking.

With the energy level and brain activity at their highest, I stopped paying attention and just got used to conversing with the red digital dial smirking at me at almost exactly 4.32 am almost every day. How on earth does my internal alarm know to wake me up exactly the same time every morning? What does it know that I don't?

But, then last Sunday I read the New York Times Just Manic Enough article and my a-ha moment blasted out: Slightly manic, having taken a huge - to me - risk, working extraordinarily hard to reap the rewards of my herculean efforts.

Whatever time I go to bed, I always wake up at 4.30! I write, I read, until 2-3 weeks ago hit the books on executive leadership and coaching for a few hours every day and all that has been on my head is my international coaching practice. And then, in the middle of everything - after 18 years, a new home and moving. And when this is done, I am getting ready to jump on a plane and fly to Greece after a one-year absence. Change, transition, more change and then even a bigger shift in the big Leda puzzle.

"Monomaniacal" in my pursuit a la Henry Ford, I have been following my gut for over a year. Not only have I wanted to branch out and leave my executive life, I also wanted to help people be even better in leading, managing, executing, getting to the fertile part of their brain - hence coaching.

As I am ready to go back to Europe, all I can think about is how I will contribute to the necessary change needed in Greece at the moment. Sacrifice is a big part of the game. Risk is also huge - but success is no longer about money. Meaning, significance, depth and the quality of the relationships I am having - these are the kinds of things I mostly care about.

And I am getting ready and eager and the energizer little bunny is off and ready to blast out - so, what if it's 4.30 in the morning? After all, the day begins just then in Brasilia!..

The Laugh that Made the Woman Sad

2010-09-16T10:15:00.000-07:00

So... you walk into a restaurant and 2 guys are sitting at a table and they are laughing their hearts out. You wonder - why they are laughing, what's so funny...And then, one of them turns around, points at you and they are both rolling on the floor - and all you can do is feel hurt and puzzled and worried that something's terribly wrong with you, your hair, your face, your clothes or something totally ridiculous that you have done and you don't even know it.

This is the opposite point of view, the anti-blog - the woman's perspective on my Ollie and Stan blog.

Every action creates some sort of a reaction - while our two beloved buffoons are the most sympathetic, seemingly benign characters, if you watch the short video carefully, you can see why the woman gets annoyed. She lashes out - isn't an attack the fast antidote to being hurt and one alternative to self-defending?

And the chain reaction unfolds. And then Stan gets sad, and the woman... well... we don't really know about the woman. But, the point is there are always multiple points of view and perspectives. The truth is never simple.

Like in Akira Kurosawa's Rashomon in which a crime witnessed by four individuals is described in four mutually contradictory ways, facts, and perceptions, and feelings get in the way of our behaviors. And the least desirable outcome is miscommunication, hurt and misunderstanding.

So, it's possible...just possible that Stan (or any Stan out there) was not out to get you in the first place. And it's also quite probable that the woman (any woman in our life fable) did not intend to hurt you either.

Maybe - just maybe...

The Word that Made Stan Sad

2010-09-12T11:18:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I remembered them this morning.

J.D. Salinger called them "two Heaven-sent artists and men." Compliments don't get much better than that.

I am of course talking about Stan and Ollie. And it's all about life and laughter and happiness and your point of view. Just watch this Laurel and Hardy clip.

At first, it looks like it's all about infectious laughter. But watch till the end. See how the woman who is getting annoyed with their uncontrollable laughter responds and what she says. And then, watch Stan's face. His SAD face. While seemingly the clip is about uncontrollable, infectious laughter, in the end it is about attitude and how one word, one look can spoil the moment.

You must have had moments like these. You know what I am talking about. And perhaps, if you have been reading my posts on a regular basis, you may already know what I am about to say: That in the end, it is all about you - how you perceive the nasty, cold and possibly seemingly derogatory comment. Up to you to let you spoil your moment, your good mood, your happiness. It's not about other people, what they think or how they react. If you are feeling good about yourself, your hard work, your soul - then you have nothing to feel bad about - even, if someone doesn't share your view.

Up to you - so let others be as nasty as they can be. Let them live their melancholy and sour state - it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with you...

Isn't the end always the beginning?

2010-09-06T08:36:00.000-07:00

...The End...

Oh wait! Now what?...

What exactly does this mean - the end? Unless we are talking about death, there is no end.

I just finished two huge projects. The first took me a year to complete - a lot of effort, dedication, determination, perseverance and stubbornness. The second was completed in about a week and it required physical stamina, steely willpower and multi-tasking. I went straight from one project into the next and last night I realized that pretty much I am done. And with that thought, came the next one - about the next big project. Whatever that is - wherever this may take me. That's me - I am on the move constantly spinning into my head. I like it like that. I can't stand still, can't rest, need the action, the involvement, the interaction, the sense of purpose and the desired finish line as only one rung in the ladder of life.

Now, does this mean I don't take time out? And basically, this is what I caught myself thinking: I am very proud of what I accomplish - success is defining the terms of your life. Choosing to do the things you want to do and leaving the things that don't mean much really.

I know some people will jump and consider me arrogant and "privileged" (and I mean the word in its negative sense here) but it's hard work and my attitude that have brought me where I am.

The hard work refers to discovering what it is that you really want. The attitude is getting up and simply doing it. Sometimes, things get in the way and it's hard to figure out what's stopping you or blocking your way. But, when it comes down to the bottom of it - you always have the choice.

How To Start Your Day (With Jazz, Banjo & Economics)

2010-08-28T07:22:00.000-07:00

7.00 am and I've been up for a couple of hours already. Drinking coffee, canvassing the morning news and major headlines, trying to ease into a major project I'll be working on for the weekend and the next 48 hours.

Nothing terribly exciting or thrilling to inspire and spark my creative vein and the "rush" that can jump start my creativity. And then here comes Paul - Paul Krugman of the New York Times that is - who publishes the video below. Instead of yet another commentary on the economy and the recession.

I smiled. You will smile, too. Sometimes a smile is more important to start the day - even if it is about politics and economics. So, enjoy your rainbow banjo music clip. And let me know if this doesn't make you smile.

Tales From the Emergency Exit

2010-08-13T10:36:00.000-07:00

"I'm mad and I am not gonna take it anymore?..."

Steven Slater's 15 minutes of fame shenanigans made major headlines and awarded him cult figure status overnight just because he threw a fit. What? You don't know who Steven Slater is?

Don't despair. If you have no clue and the name means nothing to you, I applaud you. Your oblivion means you either haven't been paying attention and you are spared the US pop culture and sensationalist media hype or you are happily tucked away in another geography and you couldn't care less about yet another guy who has had it with his life, his job, his reality and simply snapped.

While all of us can empathize (maybe) with the Stevens of this world and can probably recall our own encounters with pressure, borderline abusive and offensive behaviors by employers, subordinates, children, spouses or reckless drivers who cut us off during the ugly morning commute - after all life is nothing but a consistent test of perseverance and willpower - we don't snap and take off.

Is this where our "civilized" world has come to? Over 200,000 people have signed on to Steven's Facebook fan page, twitter shows him as a trending topic and the editor of Harvard Business Review devoted his time and effort on the dumbfounding Mr. Slater.

Stress as an all encompassing excuse for all kinds of asinine behavior is a naive and overly simplistic attribution. Life is stressful - there is no bigger shock than birth itself - but we don't throw off the handle and jump off the emergency chutes of landing planes when we find opposition, adversity and hard to handle situations.

I can't help but think of the masterful Seth Godin when he said: "Don't worry about what happened yesterday (or five minutes ago)....Think about what you can do that will make a huge impact in six months. The breaking news mindset isn't just annoying, it may be distracting you from what really matters..."

And when nothing else works when you are stressed, just think of the emergency chute - but not the one Steven used - just the one you will not regret the day after.

Much to Do About Nothing: Summer Thoughts

2010-08-08T07:18:00.000-07:00

Dawn - and I am up posting this on my blog. I feel kind of guilty having abandoned it for the last week or so. Yes, it's summer and the whiff of leisure and vacationing wonder is in the air.

But, as the morning light breaks through over Yountville in the Napa Valley where I am spending the weekend, a flurry of activity has transcended several continents, countries and spheres. Responding to someone in Germany who is about to move to California and wants to find a home for his expat family; setting up appointments for next week; scanning the major headlines in Greece while looking over the latest developments on the Hewlett Packard CEO sexual harassment story and the settlement announcement.

Meanwhile, virtual discussions are taking place on my social media channels - responses and comments on the blog, my coaching practice buzz that is constantly on my head, and in the midst of all this - my vacation, my weekend in Napa. Am I crazy? Addicted to blackberry (actually I have to give credit to my nifty little Nokia - I find it much better than the Blackberry and I passionately dislike the iphone - I have trouble with the touch screen!!).

See what I mean? Too many thoughts twirling and dancing and painting my filters, my tentacles. Does this sound relaxing to you? And does this look like a vacation?

Well, it is and I am happy - and this is exactly what I want to be doing this early in the morning.

But, somehow other people's ideas of how things should be get in our heads and then things get confusing. Vacations are supposed to make you feel relaxed and light and disconnected from the routines of your life, to break the patterns, to offer the significant and sweet difference that will inspire your engine for the next push upon your return to normalcy. Right?

While you ponder your own point of view on the subject - I am wrapping this up. A light soft rain is falling and it's simply stunning outside. I am taking a walk. It's summer; it's morning, it's beautiful and it's life.

Compassion is as Compassion Does: Anti-Lessons from Tony Hayward

2010-07-27T08:43:00.000-07:00

Sometimes time works against us.

Did the inevitable response to the public outcry of the Gulf disaster have to wait that long? Tony Hayward's ousting was a matter of time. However, waiting that long did not serve BP in the end.

In my June post Small People's Emotional Psychiatry I agonized with my own emotions being involved in the past with BP. Somehow, the expected announcement of Hayward's reaction has left me cold.

Rosabeth Moss Kanter's article says it all here: Leadership Tips from Tony Hayward (or Not): "Compassion is as Compassion Does..." You can't fake it, quench it or limit it. You either feel it or you don't. And if you don't have it within you, don't expect sympathy, understanding, forgiveness.

While time sometimes works against us, it does tend to balance things in the end.

Best Friends No More?

2010-07-26T09:50:00.000-07:00

What is it that you remember most about kindergarten? I don't know about you, but in addition to my kindergarten teacher, what I remember most about that splendidly innocent and tender age, is the other little girl I met there. The very same little girl who's now a grown up that has turned out to be my dearest and "best-est" friend.

I am the type that cherishes the best friend concept - my life is much richer for having her on my side. So, I was caught off guard when I read this End of Friendship article.

"Increasingly, some educators and other professionals who work with children are asking a question that might surprise their parents: Should a child really have a best friend..."

From friendship coaching that helps kids develop multiple and diverse friendships to management and prevention of bullying to the forced separation of good friends so that they learn to get to know other children (or help the teachers have a more quite classroom) I find this "intervention" not only intrusive but manipulative.

On the other hand, in this era of "virtuality"and social media, does this idea have merit?

Come on, Facebook is great but let's not go overboard with some of the artificial, public and nominal F/B "friendships" with people you would not recognize on the street.

Yes, having a chance to explore other options and different personalities in the world is great and enriching. However, should the fear of disappointment or potential heartbreak prevent anyone - including a small child - from pursuing a friendship? And how does one learn the art of living?

Life is a luscious, exquisite, sumptuous adventure. The best friend - your first ever best friend and the wonderful navigation, negotiation and exploration that you will probably go through as a child pursuing such a friendship will shape and follow you through life. If you are lucky, you will cherish and have this in your heart forever. It will be one of the first lessons in the core curriculum of relationship building.

Getting Annoyed Won't Get You Very Far

2010-07-20T11:15:00.000-07:00

You know these types who seem to be so great at raining on your parade? Those highly annoying people who are always there to say something critical, judgmental, negative?

My initial reaction in the past has been murderous. I used to take it as a personal affront, an attack, a sudden flood spoiling my carefully laid out strategy and planning. Sounds familiar? You must have encountered these folks - and actually they are not bad people. Annoying maybe but bad?

How about their process? How about the process in general? How does one make a decision to evaluate, to come to a conclusion and make a comment? Do we all think alike? Do we all use the same steps to come to decisions, do we all react the same? And all these differences, these "preferences" as defined by Carl Jung, how do they affect our behaviors? In the case of these "annoyers", how do such preferences shape these critical, seemingly negative judges who have a tendency to make us feel like they are spoiling our days?

Let's think this through for a moment. You know some people who use logic to analyze the problem, assess pros and cons; focus on the facts and the principles; are good at analyzing a situation; focus on problems and tasks—not relationships; may not include the impacts on people or people’s emotions in their decision making.

And then you know some other people who use their personal values to understand the situation; focus on the values of the group or organization; are good at understanding people and their viewpoints; concentrate on relationships and harmony; may overlook logical consequences of individual decisions.

These two different types use contrasting processes to make decisions. Neither one is wrong nor is this about being right or wrong. Understanding the different approaches, preferences, styles and ways is more than helpful.

So, next time someone sounds critical and annoys the hell out of you – think twice, three times maybe. After all, being annoyed won’t get you very far.

* The above preference descriptors are excerpted from the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® (MBTI®), an assessment that helps identify differences between normal, healthy people - differences that can be the source of great misunderstanding and miscommunication. Want to know more how this can be used in teams, in your company and/or your personal life? Just ask me.

The Piano, the Staircase and the Escalator

2010-07-16T10:07:00.000-07:00

Please watch the video.

Persuasive, effective, influential...Who wouldn't want to be more of all of the above? Think of the power, the exhilaration, the "high" of having that kind of an effect on people. So, what could you do?

Sometimes, the good, old recipes of power, authority, force, carrot and stick approach, consequence related speeches are totally ineffective. And then in a moment of shining brilliance and utter revelation, you do something entirely different: You make something interesting and novel and imaginative and totally new.

Can we get people to make a different choice by making it fun and interesting? Can we ignite the passion and the fire and make people want to listen, learn, see, hear, feel...

How complex, hard, wacky or crazy really is it to make a piano out of a staircase? Sure, the escalator is easier and probably faster. But getting to your destination the easiest and fastest way is not always the best outcome. Playfulness and fun and smelling the roses have their place in life and for some people the experience is what counts the most - and in a peculiar kind of way - this experience has the most lasting effect, teaching and affecting and making a permanent imprint. So, sometimes getting on the escalator is not the best thing to do...

* This post is dedicated to Michael R. Segovia, lead facilitator for the MBTI® Certification Program - thank you for the 4 incredible days - your style matched the guitar sounds of the other virtuoso Segovia...

Man's or Dog's Best Friend: A Test of Feelings

2010-07-01T18:12:00.000-07:00

A dog is a man's best friend. Yet, in this amazing canine act of compassion, no man stepped up to the task of helping the injured dog. See the video - I thought it is incredible.

Rarely are noble acts of courage, heroism, compassion or altruism attributed to animals. We humans, are so good at patting ourselves in the back when we do something nice. And "nice" is a mild word, one of those socially acceptable terms of signifying not much of anything really.

But how about "great?" How often can you say you did something absolutely incredibly great? And the greatness had nothing to do with you - but it gave the gift of joy, life, laughter, happiness or anything else that might contribute to someone else feeling the exhilaration, the buzz, the joy.

Do I sound Polyannish again? What do you think is the percentage of people who will simply nod when watching this video? How many do you think will be touched by the rescuer dog's effort to save the other dog? And, what does this really mean? Are people more or less cruel than animals? Which people, under which conditions and certainly/maybe not at peak traffic time?

How about you? Just Take my poll and see the results. Aren't you curious?

Leadership In the Age of Scarcity

2010-06-19T10:28:00.000-07:00

Leadership In the Age of Scarcity - The Conversation - Harvard Business Review

Giving a glimpse into the minds of 3600 graduate and undergraduate students worldwide, IBM's recently released Global Student Study 2010 looks into some ideas of what these young people will do differently when they become leaders themselves. In their review of this study, the Harvard Business Review authors of the attached article compare the divergent points of view due to generational differences between current and future leaders and CEOs.

One thing is indisputable: Differences will eventually cause a tsunami of change. The key questions revolve around the how as the when is now palpable.

In my view it is all about alignment: As the current line of leadership ages, and the reigns are taken over by younger and different managers who belong to generation Y, a new set of values, principles, ideals and standards emerge. Through the transition, senior leaders will have to re-think how they align with their younger successors. The transition will be critical in the smooth shift that is sweeping over the world view and the sustainable future.

So, how does one move towards alignment? Do you need both parties to come to an agreement about meeting each other half way? Or sometimes the realization that events outside our control lead the way towards a necessary and unavoidable course of action? And what happens if you don't do anything? Is letting nature or time take its course a viable option in today's reality? How do you prepare? And how do you begin to explore the possibilities of how things might be in the future?

And, are you convinced that you absolutely MUST begin exploring all these questions?

Small People's Emotional Psychiatry

2010-06-17T10:55:00.000-07:00

"...."I’ll leave the emotional psychiatry to others.” At a White House briefing, Robert Gibbs, the president’s press secretary, shrugged off criticism from some politicians and columnists that the president had not been emotional enough in his response to the spill...."

Robert Gibbs is good. He tried to downplay Obama's perceived lack of emotion and came up with the slightly derogatory notion of emotional psychiatry. But in this case, he made a mistake. The spill is not about public relations. And, honestly - is anything this day and age about public relations?

I've been closely watching the events unravel. I have a double take on this major event that is shaping the public agenda not only on environmental issues but on leadership, anti-heroism and public antipathy.

But first I need to offer the following disclosure: I have worked for BP for several years - served as the public affairs director in Greece and was part of group marketing, working on global campaigns. I know the game, the company, the philosophy, the principles, and some of the key people are my friends.

I hate what happened.

So, do all my friends at BP - and no, not because their stock options have gone down the tube for now, or potential job losses due to loss of market cap, or corporate reputation and brand identity and all the shareholder and consumer wrath and those dividend cuts. People who work for oil, tobacco companies or big pharma - they are people, too. Ethics, principles, morals - every idea and sense of obligation and responsibility exists at all levels, regardless of jobs, specialties and affiliations. Stereotyping is dangerous - and it leads to faulty conclusions. But, I am not here to oppose meritorious crusaders like Michael Moore, either.

This is a monumental and fatal error. People died. Somehow the 11 lost lives seem to have been forgotten. The gush in the Gulf, the oil slick, the marine life, the beaches and the oil barrels, the environment and all the words flashing and twirling and zillions of dollars to cover it all - and all this is somehow dehumanized.

And having gone back to study the opinion polls and the palpable public outcry and anger, the "emotional psychiatry" turned on its head and it's now lashing out to reign the bad guys. Obama is making BP pay. Emotional psychiatry is turning to escrow accounts, and compensation - but somehow I am left with a bad taste - and I am among those who can see the other side of the argument due to my past affiliation.

But, the latest news did me in and I am not one to shy away from taking stands. In a brilliant move, that even Robert Gibbs couldn't have orchestrated better, the "bad" guys make it easy to confirm they are also nitwitted. "We care about the small people," said BP Chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg, yesterday! This will now be the phrase that will also go down in history among the major blunders. But, I insist: This is not about public relations.

Leaders and heroes are those who have the ability to understand, empathize, feel and act on what they see, hear and dream about. Leaders cannot lead unless they deal with the real human beings who buy and use/utilize their products, ideas and services. Those who have their heads in the clouds can only go so far. At some point, the people, these very same "small" people who are also the "big" people who can make or break someone's future will react - and that reaction has catastrophic potential.

So, this is not about public relations. It's about people and our survival with each other on planet earth. It is not about small or big people, emotional psychiatry or any other beautiful, ugly or made up phrase. It's about us and the reality that leadership is much tougher to exercise than uttering a few conciliatory and fake-sounding words...

Carrot-And-Stick No More

2010-06-10T14:51:00.000-07:00

Carrot-and-stick: The phrase reminds me of my elementary school principal who used to walk around playing with a wooden ruler. No, he was not an arithmetic kind of a guy, passionate to indoctrinate all of us third and fourth graders into the secrets of Pythagoras and Archimedes. The ruler was his stick. I have somehow forgotten if there were ever any carrots. If we were nice, obedient, disciplined and compliant, the ruler stayed on his desk. If we were the normal kids we all were, we got to feel his ruler on our legs (yes, that was allowed back then!)

So, slowly and gradually the idea of reward, motivation, punishment and power were introduced into our very young lives. I presume it must have been something equivalent for most of you.

And then, all of sudden, we all became the grown ups we are all today. Some are more compliant than others, some have an easier time playing James Dean in Rebel Without (or With) A Cause.

We all have our reasons for doing things. And how well we perform, and how proud we are of our achievements and how well our boss is the one who motivates us or how well we motivate ourselves is a long and complicated story worth unraveling.

So, what drives people?

The discussions and the debate has been long and hard and we all acknowledge that each one of us has his own trigger points. Personalities, experiences, character traits, specific situations with particular people and the landscape changes accordingly.

"Cash bonus" has almost reached the point of becoming a dirty term as Wall Street scandals of all sorts come to mind, but money - and great money at that - has been a driving force through the history of mankind. But is this really the case?

A recent study by McKinsey showed that praise, attention and the opportunity to lead a project - all non-financial incentives - are more or at least as attractive motivational factors.

Dan Pink in his latest book, Drive recognizes the same principle - that the carrot and the stick no longer work (if they ever did).

Being nicer may be just the beginning, however understanding the motives behind the decisions, the actions, the reasoning produces much better results.

The Elephant in the Physics

2010-06-05T23:19:00.000-07:00

The smart 14 yr old who drew the elephant in this test deserves to:

a. flunk physics

b. get a scholarship for the MIT Media Lab

c. do a special appearance at Comedy Central

Yes, he apparently cannot answer the question but spunk, originality, humor, creativity and boldness in the end count for so much more in life than high school physics. And you have to admit, little dumbo looks kind of cool in the middle of this contraption. I burst out laughing when I realized what I was seeing. It made my day and sometimes a hearty laugh and a lightness and a healthy dose of playfulness go a long way. So, go ahead - it's the weekend: Have a laugh, draw an elephant, just be cute and pick up the phone and give someone the inside scoop: life sometimes needs to be taken lightly and some things are not as important as a good laugh...

* By the way: The correct answer is d: all of the above.

Out With The Old

2010-06-03T09:52:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, I used to love those early mornings sipping coffee reading the New York Times. And I mean the actual newspaper not the www.nytimes.com. By fluke, I got my hands on an actual paper again this morning. I fought the urge to put it aside and open my laptop and literally forced myself to sit and read the paper before getting on with emails and my online life and business.

I did enjoy it. The physical act of holding the newspaper and getting absorbed in its ink infused canvas vs. the computer screen is different. While I like it, I no longer find it that attractive or compelling enough to actually spend the time doing it. And at the same time, I had to exercise self-discipline.

My silent, tightly closed-lid laptop was staring up at me waiting to play, show me what's new, cajole me, tease me, teach me things. I poignantly turned my head and held the huge paper (why is it so disproportionately big really?) struggling with its pages. I was out of practice actually turning and folding these large paper sheets. Such an unnatural and complicated physicality to simply read!

But, I was determined. I realized that I was simply scanning the articles - since I had already read the printed "news" online last night. Even the analysis and the editorials come to me in RSS feeds as they are published - so, there was no newness in the process. I was taking a trip down memory lane, more than I was actually "reading" the paper. Plus, I had this nagging little voice in my head prompting me to see my emails instead of "wasting" time reading the by now old news on a piece of paper.

OK, OK...I am not that young (or that old for all it matters) to be in the millennial generation of whiz kids who live, breathe and think on line. But, I am curious, Christopher Columbus reincarnate, always exploring, digging, uncovering, discovering and peeling off the layers of world secrets, wonders, and miracles.

And, the old ways, the ways we "used to do" things have gotten faster and different. Some will argue that these new ways are not better.The point is that once again - we choose.

And that freedom to make the choice simply makes me smile - whatever the choice - the freedom to do so is to me, the thing that matters the most!

All About Carol

2010-05-28T09:36:00.000-07:00

Unconventional or brash? Rude or powerful? How would you characterize Carol Bartz's moment of truth?

Those of us who have faced hostile media interviewing and know first hand what it really means to have reporters in your face can sympathize and associate.

At some point in our lives, we have all had a confrontation. Somebody or other knows how to push your buttons, make you feel small, angry, hurt and in the corner. Sometimes, more often for some or almost never for others, you can only be pushed so far and then in a flash - perhaps without even realizing it - you simply push back and there you have it: face off!

Some will be offended by such a blow up. Some will applaud. The arguments on both sides are well articulated as the rules of social engagement and civility are pretty set. You are expected to be polite, considerate, tactful, empathetic and "contained." Usually a little bit more if you are a woman, or in the public eye, whatever this may mean. Even more so if you live in a non-western culture.

But this may simply be all about values. Consider the following assertions:

1. "People say what they mean and mean what they say; you don’t need to read between the lines; it’s important to tell it like it is; honesty is the best policy; the truth is more important than sparing someone’s feelings."

2. "People are indirect; they imply/suggest what they mean; understatement is valued; you need to read between the lines; the truth, if it hurts, should be tempered."

Which of the two do you choose to follow? Direct vs. indirect communication style and bingo: you may have an explanation to your reaction to Carol's words. Are you born with a certain style and tendency or is it a learned behavior? Is it in your DNA and there's nothing you can do to change how you interact or is it a choice, a calibrated move and a natural talent in the game of life? Does it help or does it hurt? Which style is appropriate with some people and at certain times - and how well can you adjust and achieve what you are looking to get out of a meaningful conversation?

We don't know what Mike Arrington, the interviewer, said to Carol before we see the clip. It may matter to some but not to others. We don't know what Carol was trying to get out of this interview. We don't even know what each one of them actually got out of this interview.

So, like it happens most often in life, we only see fragments of the bigger picture. The puzzle is delectable, rich, powerfully complicated and so wonderfully obscure to have room for all kinds of interpretations, rumblings, musings, thoughts.

So, before you make a judgment next time, think of all the things you don't really know...And just for the heck of it, take this poll.

WHAT'S IT WORTH TO YOU?

2010-05-23T12:25:00.000-07:00

"Pay what you feel is fair?"

The incredible Steve² duo (Levitt and Dubner) of Freakonomics fame may be on to something big.

Stop. Let's forget the little economist in all of us here. While price may have objective criteria and parameters, value is strictly personal. Price does not necessarily reflect value while value may not always be decoded into pricing terms.

I personally find it fascinating but I am wondering... How do you overcome human nature? If conscience was the only counselor to your behavior, what would you do if you could buy something by paying only what you felt was fair? What criteria would you use, and how would you put a price on something solely on the value you felt you received by the tangible product or the more intangible service?

And something else: How about all these things that have so much value yet nobody has stuck a price tag on - things such as peace and quiet, reassurance, smiles or a crisp, clear gloriously sunny Sunday afternoon? What are such things worth to you?

Besides, what if someone has put so much effort in getting you to that peaceful stage? Would you feel inclined to pay them for what they have helped you achieve? And how is that different from paying yourself -actually acknowledging your value - for planning out what you really want to do, be, get and going through the pain of making it happen - not for anyone else other than yourself? What would you be worth to you?

Just wondering...

Lessons from a 5 year old

2010-05-21T11:17:00.000-07:00

49 seconds. That's all it will take to break a smile by watching Jessica do her own pep talk in front of the mirror.

And Jessica is only five! Credit to her parents for letting her bloom and do her "thing" and be the happy child she seems to be. But, what I find most interesting is that she has it in her to instinctively use positive psychology and affirmation to feel great about her life. Is this something she has learned? Or does it come naturally and like the gorgeous child she is - she is simply letting her heart delight at the beauty she sees around and inside her?

And if you - as the adult you are - did this all alone in front of your mirror, what would you say? And most importantly, I do think that if you are reading this, chances are you also have it in you to be doing something equivalent.

Life can indeed be so glorious as to let us learn from a 5 year old...

Sailing Through

2010-05-19T11:06:00.000-07:00

Anchors. "Indispensable principal supports that serve to hold an object firmly."

Different anchors for different people - so how is it that we occasionally forget that some "things", a favorite and cherished book, a photograph, a great friend's encouragement, a smile, an idea we feel passionate about or a solid belief, can help us get back on track?

Is there a trick to our memories? What is that magical trigger that each one of us has to take us to this place where our anchors are solidly moored?

And then the counter argument: During the storm, you have to release the anchor, otherwise you may topple.

Pros and cons, balancing and equilibrium, the glorious adventure of living life and being in your moment as you define and shape it.

* My intent is not to confuse the term used here with the neuro-linguistic programming term "Anchoring" as the process by which memory recall, state change or other responses become associated with (anchored to) some stimulus, in such a way that perception of the stimulus (the anchor) leads by reflex to the anchored response occurring.

The Little Green Man and You

2010-05-15T15:35:00.000-07:00

I try to write at least once a week. Does that take discipline and self determination? Will the sun rise tomorrow?

But when I break it down, the hardest part — the part for which I need the discipline — is finding the inspiration. And to search for the inspiration, I need the discipline to go find it when it simply refuses to pop up. Sounds like vicious cycle, doesn't it?

Sometimes there is simply nothing. Blank. Void. White page. No muse, no thoughts, nothing smart to say or even contemplate. The little green man inside of me - my lizard brain - refuses to kick start and move.

And as I am sitting idly thinking how to overcome this nothingness, I catch myself thinking of my musts, all these personally imposed rules of "grit", perseverance and determination. If I try to analyze my thoughts, maybe I'll figure out why sometimes I have been drained from ideas, inspiration, enthusiasm, and energy.

I am puzzled. I absorb data; I read commentaries, articles, editorials and research. I talk to people. Lots of people - and yet, a gray hazy fog is clouding my brain. I am distracted, melancholy, and kinda "blue".

"Depleted" is the term in positive psychology. So, I need to drink -and replenish - from the fountain of encouragement, energy and fire. But, basically, I have to make the commitment to just do whatever I need to do -whatever I've put my mind to. And when I articulate the commitment, the promise, the pledge I am already half way there. Because I and only I will be accountable for what I set out to do.

And sometimes - for some people - that sense of having finished what they said and promised to do is the greatest thing. Much more so if the one you made the promise to, is just you.

Greece: Very Close and Personal

2010-05-07T07:23:00.000-07:00

DER TAGESSPIEGEL, May 6th
"The future of Europe may have been decided in a bank branch in Athens. The day before yesterday it was perhaps possible to look at the financial crisis in the southeastern tip of Europe with a Teutonic coolness ... that is over. This is not about money any more. It is about much more. Peoples' deaths have changed things..."

My Greekness has always been a source of reflection. I have a natural in-born tendency to oppose "belonging." Having lived most of my adult life outside Greece, I have often wondered where "home" is.

But while the schema of my Greekness is blurry, the indisputable fact remains that so many people who matter to me are there today. And suddenly, and only yesterday, I made a discovery: As the news of the deaths and the massive protests in Athens unfolded, I found myself mourning.

I still can't faithfully express what it is I am silently crying for. Greece - in all of its instability, frailty, intoxicating and irrational joviality, breathtaking natural beauty tantalizingly blemished by infuriating man-made urban ugliness, pollution, traffic, bureaucracy and stubborness of contemporary Greeks to see things more objectively and less narrowly - yes, this Greece is mine. My memories - the sun, the Aegean, the sunsets on the Saronic gulf, my childhood, my feelings, my early life there belong to me.

But somehow, I can't connect my present with my past. I am afraid and I don't even know why. My daughter, mother and a number of my closest and most dear friends are in Greece. And I have trouble visualizing the prospects, the future, the hopes and the dreams - and cursed are those who fail to dream.

While I am a pragmatist, I am also a positive boundary pusher who strongly believes in moving on and forward. But today, I am stumped. I don't seem to get it. As a mother, I find myself concerned with my daughter's physical safety - and I have never been this kind of a "jumpy" mother. Will my mother's pension be enough? Who of my friends will not survive the job losses? Where will the inner strength and inspiration come from? And what happens when hope is lost, when civil society breaks down and the most basic of the basics - security, physical and financial - is threatened?

And where am I in all this? While I comfortably sit in sunny, peaceful and deceptively safe California, the Greek crisis - beyond its political, economic and geophysical implications - is affecting my soul. Today, I cry for Greece. It is my turn to mourn the death of innocence and brightness - and I need the time to think what role I will choose to play in this drama - how I can help - because I cannot simply sit and watch and just worry.

"Challenges make life interesting, however, overcoming them is what makes life meaningful," said the wisest Mark Twain - all we need to do is to have the courage to stand up and do something about it.

Forgiveness, Confucius and JFK

2010-04-29T20:44:00.000-07:00

Anger. It happens. You don't want to get angry, you don't want to lose your cool, your peace, your "chi" - yet, someone or something catches you by surprise and you can't help it. You get angry, furious, ballistic, savage, vehement and then some.

But this is not about that moment. The hard part comes much later, after you cooled off, after the introspection and the re-winding of the mental tape. In some cases (hopefully most - if not all), the anger's gone.

You can't even exactly remember how or why you got angry in the first place - and that's easy. So, this is not about that moment, either.

This is about the case of persistent anger- that slow boiling torrent of steaming fury that refuses to go. The reasons are irrelevant. You can't forget, you can't forgive, and you don't even want to. "To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it?" You know the Confucian quote, the theory, the research and yet you can't let go.

You know where this is going, right? The antithesis: Forgiveness and mercy, the opposite of spite, vengeance, hard-heartedness, and mercilessness.

Dr. Christopher Peterson, from the University of Michigan, writes in his analysis of VIA: "...Perhaps it is useful to realize that forgiveness is not a favor to the other person but a gift to ourselves. It takes an emotional burden off our shoulders. Forgiveness liberates us from the past, although it need not entail forgetting what has happened..."

Sometimes anger is useful. It reminds us to be vigilant, attentive, introspective and stronger through the experience as we survive the hurt and grow through it all. It teaches us more about ourselves, and how we react to others offering invaluable lessons in endurance. But then, you have to let go, transform the anger, conquer it, and rejoice in the conquest of those who have made you angry - because though the process, your process, you will win.

In the end, you may choose to remember JFK's eerily prophetic words: "Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names."

So We Can Think Twice. Part 2 (honoring Seth Godin again)

2010-04-26T08:56:00.000-07:00

This could be another comment in response to the why I write post (why? so, we can think twice). However,
Seth Godin's ideas deserve so much more - pure unadulterated, consistent fire and inspiration. Thank you, for the spark- and the secret dialogue..

Below is a direct quote from Just Quid no quo

"You don't write a blog to get gigs. You don't help people out in a forum to build a freelance business. Sure, that might happen, but that's not why you do it. If you are busy calculating quid pro quo, that means your heart isn't in it, and the math won't work out anyway.

Online, the something, the quid, the this, doesn't cost cash. It takes heart and energy and caring, which are scarce but renewable resources. As a result, many people are able to spend them without seeking anything external in return. Even better, the act of generosity, of giving without expectation, makes it easier to do art, to create work that matters on its own."

Why? Probably So We Can Think Twice.

2010-04-22T12:45:00.000-07:00

Why? "Probably so we can think twice." Bill Watterson, cartoonist and creator of Calvin & Hobbes

I personally have so much fun with the "why" question! My automatic, subversive and intuitive response is always "why not?"

I like the whys and the becauses but experience has taught me that occasionally one can get lost in the reasoning, the motives and the analysis - not forgetting that some people do get defensive with such a question that demands inner exploration and a positional "defense."

Someone yesterday asked why I write. He claimed he liked my posts but he could not figure out why I wrote.

So, why do writers write? Why do people do what they do? Isn't the question fundamental accompanying every action we take? Or isn't it? Why does it matter? Why does it matter to you? And would readers react differently if they knew why authors wrote why they wrote? When price is not an issue, when ideas float for free, when nothing of physical value is bartered, how do you value and measure worth? How do you objectively evaluate like and dislike, pleasure and annoyance, no versus yes?

Made you think? If you are still reading this, you must have. So, I am happy - as this was my goal - to simply make you take a position...

So, now that that's out of the way, let me get personal.

I write because I love writing. I love ideas, information, sharing thoughts, emotions, ponderings and conversations. Life is richer that way. To me, that's fun.

I also write because I am grateful. Grateful for having the ability - through writing - to share my thoughts with others - because I let the sun come through - because this writing is a door that opens up possibilities. Possibilities shared are possibilities gained as they are imparted with others.

That's all. Nothing to sell, nothing to pay, but lots to gain.

Sisyphus and Proteus: Lessons from Greek Mythology

2010-04-19T11:37:00.000-07:00

Why is it that some days we wake up and feel like good old mythical Sisyphus?

Remember him?

Sisyphus, punished for all eternity to roll a rock up a mountain only to have it roll back down to the bottom when he reaches the top, is the ideal "absurd hero" as Albert Camus called him, struggling perpetually and without hope of success.

Like Sisyphus, some see no other option than the mountain and the rock. Burdened with obligations, lack of control, hopelessness, low expectations and no alternatives, they continue to toil in dead-end jobs, uninspiring environments or co-dependent and unhealthy relationships.

Sounds familiar?

But juxtaposed to Sisyphus, comes another mythological deity, Proteus: The son of Poseidon, he could foretell the future, but changed his shape to avoid it, answering only to those capable of capturing him. From this feature of Proteus comes the adjective protean, with the general meaning of "versatile", "mutable", "capable of assuming many forms". "Protean" has positive connotations of flexibility, versatility and adaptability. Proteus' insights were valuable to Greek warriors strategizing before their battles.

While crystal balls tend to be inaccurate plenty of times, our own intuition, awareness, flexibility, creativity and consideration of alternatives and possibilities can help us be more like Proteus. The better we understand the forces that shape our lives, the better we can exercise some control over them. The pain is unavoidable and sometimes necessary. "People change when the pain of the status quo becomes greater than the fear of making the change" says Helen Harkness.

While you may not be caught in the Sisyphus pattern, think of its opposite, the Proteus parable. And if you had to choose one, which would you rather be? Sisyphus or Proteus?

Brains Is All You Need... Or was that Love?

2010-04-13T10:23:00.000-07:00

"The scene was memorable. I was sitting in a Singapore ballroom when the British head of a global oil company told his top managers worldwide about what they needed to succeed in their company in the future. Like the other people listening, I squirmed in anticipation of the usual cliches about audacious goals, working in teams, and putting customers first.

“Brains,” he said. “You need brains.” And he sat down. How unexpected. How refreshing. How appropriate."

Excerpt from "Kaleidoscope Thinking : Turning Brainpower Into Business Innovation" by Rosabeth Moss Kanter, a Harvard Professor who also just published the Laughing Your Way to the Bank article on HBR.

I worked for this oil company. And I was fortunate enough to personally meet John Browne, the former CEO of BP, at Stanford over thirteen years ago. He was bold, ran a tight ship, made some risky bets in Russia that created a colossal new venture, and on his watch the company did great until it started slipping. Unavoidably (or perhaps not so) the fact of the matter is that his reign ended. His "brains" imperative alone was not enough to keep him or the company going as strong.

One thing alone is never enough. And one shoe never fits all. People perceive, think, feel, react and communicate differently. But, we all know that. So, what is the point of all the "stuff" we are studying, the expert advice we pay for, the lectures, the academics, the counseling, the consulting and - yes, coaching is included in this list - so many of us crave? Can I be presumptuous enough to give an answer?

Sure I can, but you have to make your own mind in the end. And in my opinion, this is what it is all about. It is about possibilities, different points of view, opening of the mind and acceptance of the divergent, the different, the peculiar. Conversations produce ideas. Exchanges generate depth and digging and explorations of all sorts. And through stimulation the brain gets its fuel - maybe that's what John Browne meant when he said that brains is all you need to succeed...

Or not?

MOJO: Don't You Deserve it?

2010-04-09T15:44:00.000-07:00

Remember the odd old movie shot in the countryside with the general supply store featured on the small town's main street? Yeah, you know: the one with that sign on the window "Gone Fishing?"

Who on earth goes fishing these days? Most of us are on all the time, armed for any digital emergency with blackberries or iphones. Facebooks, twitters, and with the social media arsenal at our fingertips, we barely leave anything or anyone behind. So, when a couple of friends commented on the fact that I have "disappeared" from my blog in the last couple of weeks, I thought I had to explain.

Well...I did not exactly go fishing - but I did my own equivalent. I did not post anything here, I was not on email all the time and I pulled the corresponding Ewan McGregor and his buddy trip - my own "California Diaries" with my best friend from Greece.

I am grateful we could do this together. I am also grateful we could afford both the time and the money to do this as the financial landscape is not the best for so many people. I realize writing this that gratitude, appreciation and acknowledgment are crucial in making this single event more meaningful.

This was not a simple trip. It was a symbolic journey of coming of age - a point in time where making a choice to smell the roses, taking your time, throwing out the schedules and the routines, doing the unexpected and the unplanned was the only absolute must. I was playing host - she was the honored guest. I took her to all my favorite and "holy" places, the breathtaking landscapes, the buzz, the atavistic power of the redwoods, the ocean mist...

And not surprisingly, we were both happy. Yes, happy - not content, not satisfied, not full - or any of these definitions that we usually refer to when we consciously avoid using the elusive and mostly unknown meaning of the word "happiness."

Savoring these memories, being grateful and appreciative and "capturing" these moments through photos, blogs, diaries or movies - and life all of a sudden fills up with yet another testimonial of richness. It's the connections we make that creates meaning. It's these connections we nurture, feed and grow that move us forward. And often, we need to revisit our childhoods, take time out and feel, see, hear the things we neglect to "sense" in our ordinary and habitual lifestyles.

Do I feel guilty or spoiled for taking the time to do this? I must admit I intellectualized both sentiments. I do have a strict work ethic, and many friends especially back in Greece are worried about the country's prospects. But again, it came down to an issue of choice.

"Default reaction to life is NOT to experience happiness" says Marshall Goldsmith in his newest book, MOJO: How to Get It, How to Keep It, and How to Get It Back When You Lose It! Out of coincidence - or it wasn't one? - a friend sent me the link and an invitation for a reception with Marshall this morning. And things sometimes fall into place. And when you are open to life's possibilities and you are not afraid to make an occasional unconventional choice - even one that takes you away of the ordinary, life can certainly be rich and full and rewarding.

Don't you deserve it?

The Second Step: Pledge of A Skeptic

2010-03-19T12:05:00.000-07:00

We are taught not to focus on the negative. We learn that making checklists of derailments that hold us back is counter productive as we accentuate the bad, the wrong and the ugly. But this short anti-creativity list video by Youngme Moon at Harvard made me pause.

I was actually annoyed when I recognized myself in number 4. The skeptic in me jumped out (skepticism as my middle name). Do I really do that? And I always thought that by playing devil's advocate I expand the thinking, the scope, the horizon.

Excuses, excuses and more excuses. Sometimes you have to be brave enough to admit that you are not only doing something wrong, but you have been doing something wrong consistently. It's a first step. So, the question is what's your second step? Will you choose to do something about it or ignore it, tuck it away in the back of your mind and pretend that you can go about your business as you have always done.

Yes, change does not come natural to people. Being inside your comfort zone and staying put within the status quo feels cozier than the unknown difference out there. But, is it you who really gains by doing nothing?

So, this is a pledge to me: When my lizard brain instinctively kicks in in the form of the skeptic - I will play an internal game. I will play skeptic to my skepticism.

Am I shutting down an idea, a concept that may sound crazy today but hey - give it time and who knows? Am I discouraging someone younger from testing their wings? And, while all debate is valid and constructive criticism and skepticism have their rightful place in the discussion - make it so that the contribution is valuable and use it as building material not a wrecking ball.

Let Tiger Roar - Part 2

2010-03-17T09:03:00.000-07:00

Is there a lesson to be learned from the "noise" surrounding Tiger Woods' return?

On January 7th, I posted a controversial opinion on Tiger Woods and the relentless media hounds intruding in his personal life: Let Tiger Roar. I did mention then that "the moral majority is neither.'

Two and a half short months later and here are today's headlines: "Woods to make long-awaited return at U.S. Masters"

The Associated Press alone shows 4364 articles on the topic and while there are some mixed reviews and commentators' tidbits, the predominant headlines are only concerned with the Tiger's game and play rather than his personal issues.

Short collective memory? Hypocrisy? Media shaping the agenda and setting the stage following the potential ad spending - all of the above plus some?

Regardless, like I said, he did not do anything that most of the regular folks have not been doing for centuries. So, he is back - and in a few short months everyone will have absolutely forgotten the fire hydrant and the tree.

Lesson Learned: Don't let others dictate your personal agenda. It's your agenda in the first place, your issue, your life. Only you can make certain decisions - and it's you who will pay the price if you don't stick to your guns.

Don't Try This At Home.

2010-03-15T10:30:00.000-07:00

A serviceman of the Belarussian Interior Ministry's special unit demonstrates his skills during a show in Minsk, February 28, 2010. Credit: REUTERS/Vasily Fedosenko

How could I resist not commenting on this photo from the Reuters Oddly News section this morning? And what on earth was this poor soul thinking while doing this?

I can only imagine what the army discipline in Bellarussia looks like - I take it that civil rights and safety guidelines on the job must be different than those in our luxuriously "free-er" western world.

Ok, so maybe the guy did not have a choice - that's the rational part. But, what's troubling about human nature is the fact that chances are the daredevil in him made him do it. Yeah, sure: Stick your head in the fire - and get your 15 min of fame - people will cheer your bravado and pat you in the back. Right?...

Yeah, right! So, you know what I am talking about: Sometimes the daredevil, lizard brain in us urges us to do weird things. No, you would never stick your head in the fire, but you would do other things - no, absolutely not life threatening (not you, anyway). Like keep on doing the same old thing you have been doing all along, thinking that you'll wake up one morning and everything will somehow be miraculously different. Like keep on putting off the things you know you have to do but somehow you can't bring yourself to do them.

You get the point. At least the Belarussian soldier may not have had a choice. How about you?

Batman and Spiderman: Lessons from Superheroes

2010-03-11T18:20:00.000-08:00

What We Can Learn from Super Heros on Vimeo

"You have all the power you need for the task you have ahead of you!" so smiles Nilofer Merchant, CEO of Rubicon Consulting, a strategy and marketing consultancy. Her talk (captured on the link above) takes you down the streets of Gotham in the batmobile exploring the stuff that made the dreams of Batman and Superman.

Far-fetched? Not really. It is beliefs that shape our journeys. And being brave enough to speak out and talk about your belief will give you the opportunity to be heard. It is the voice heard that will eventually give the idea, the dream, the vision the chance to materialize. And, voices heard, create responses, dialogues, exchanges and an occasional inside-out-of-the-box kind of thinking.

Some will stumble on opposition. Some will find alliances and others will either fight or quit the battles. But it's the power of the ideas and the beliefs that will have had their moment and the chance to shine, create and discover. So, speak up - find your voice and claim your power - it's yours for the taking.

No, Everything is not OK.

2010-03-04T08:35:00.000-08:00

YouTube - Everything is OK [Greek Subtitles]

A friend from Greece sent me this clip today. Subversive, rebellious and painfully sarcastic and critical, it express a certain reality.

A large chunk of it takes place in London, right outside the Reuters HQ in Canary Wharf. Obviously, you shouldn’t watch it. Do your job instead. Or go shopping. One or the other.

Something's brewing. Something's off. Things do not feel right - whatever "right" used to be, and frankly, nothing seems like what it used to be anymore. There is financial insecurity, fear of the unknown, desperation that things will shift just like the earth moved in the big recent earthquakes in Haiti and Chile.

So, where do you turn? Where is the glimpse of hope that keeps you going?

It's different for each one of us. For some, it's who they love. The people who care enough to share their lives and thoughts with you to make you feel less alone on the journey. Connections contribute to happiness - any experience shared with others is enhanced, the joy more intense, the pain less penetrating.

For others, the strength comes from within. Spirituality, beliefs, cognitive power, fantasy or rational thought that winter is always followed by the spring.

But for a certain number of people, there is a empty, hollow space. They simply don't know. They don't want to know. They hide their heads in the sand and they keep on doing whatever it is they have to do to get by. And they keep on getting by, oiling the "cog", just another link in the big chain of humanity, tied into to a bizarre system that simply keeps on ticking - just like a bomb.

"Question Authority." Who coined the phrase really? Benjamin Franklin or Timothy Leary? Regardless, courage to express what you are thinking should become a mandatory class in elementary school. Maybe... just one day.

Meanwhile, look out the window, turn the TV off or just go into a bookstore or the public library (yes, they still have those around)...

Salesmanship 101

2010-02-28T17:52:00.001-08:00

“Opportunities” seems to be the mother of all words during this recession.

While our savings are slowly and gradually evaporating, so many consultants, middle men (and women), advisers, gurus and counsels of all sorts are abusing the usage of the word and so many in the services industries are trying to make a buck on commissions, fees, and dream “peddling.”

Realtors are knocking down the few remaining doors they have left to have you grasp the opportunity to buy the house of your dreams. “Come on – now it’s the time to buy before prices go up again..”

Financial advisers offer you “an investment opportunity that allows more diversification plus a guaranteed a 5% annual return regardless of what happens to the market!” – the trick is that this is such a good deal that it can only be explained in a face to face meeting – no marketing brochures, no links, no available written information on it.

I am not picking on these professions. Not all realtors or financial people are the same. But some are getting so desperate because the economy is stalling, and all of a sudden their livelihood is at risk that in their anguish they push and in the process they forget tactfulness, respect and leaving the client with the necessary space to breathe and decide what’s best for himself.

I've been feeling like the circus clown trampled by the elephant on the trapeze, lately. I sympathize with all these folks out there who are having a hard time. But, come on guys. Silence sometimes is a very loud and clear message. Please let me be at peace and don’t push or try to convince me that what you are selling will be just another opportunity for me.

Discontent & Creativity

2010-02-26T11:14:00.000-08:00

Let's assume you are unsatisfied with life. You are not happy (I'll give you a buck if you can tell me who besides you, can define your happiness) and you are spinning around trying to figure a way out of your slump.

If you are trying, you are in good shape. Sooner or later you'll find the solution to your challenge and you'll move. At least by trying, you'll be better off than simply sitting around doing nothing, right?

So, use this time of discontent to be even more creative, more resourceful, more inquisitive and open to the possibilities of solutions. You have them, they are in you because this is you we are talking about. The key is to find the way to unlock the treasure chest of your brain and soul - cause the chest is there and make no mistake about it: It is full of the treasure that is your life.

Imagination & Fears

2010-02-21T09:03:00.000-08:00

Seth's Blog: Your most vivid fears...

It's so easy to build walls, to fence us in our doubts, to claim we are "risk-aversion" oriented. Yet, most of the times concentrating only on the one case scenario, we miss out on the "other" possibility.

How different really are the monsters in the closet when we were three and four year old?

And yes, one would be smart to calculate the risks - yet there is such a difference between evaluating and calculating risks versus being afraid and staying with our fears.

And all I want to ask you is to close your eyes and imagine - what you want to do, where you want to go, how you want to be. Block out everything else. This is your mind; your willpower; your freedom. And only you can imagine it.

And if you can imagine it, chances are that you will at least try to do it. And isn't trying better than being afraid?

Educating Leda: The Feminine Mystique

2010-02-16T21:25:00.000-08:00

Twice in a week now, - it can't possibly be a coincidence. I am the village idiot! Today, was another day of revelation:

Manicures & pedicures for 3 year olds.

Where have I been all my life? Am I the only woman (and mother) who just today found out that a big segment of a salon's clientele are mothers with little girls who regularly have their nails done? And no, I don't mean that the mothers have their nails done. I am talking about the little girls here.

As I am sitting happily sunk into the pedicure spa, in walks a very attractive tall blond middle aged woman. Behind her,comes what I guess is her daughter (early thirties) holding the most adorable blond little girl, pink dress and striped leggings and a matching pink ribbon on her hair. Deep blue eyes are shyly taking in the spa surroundings. "Come on, honey, pick your color, smile for grandma - it's her birthday today."

The little empress climbs up on the pedicure spa seat - her feet can barely touch the water.She has definitely done this before. She knows the routine better than me. I am dumbfounded.

I casually ask my manicurist if they get lots of kids. "Of course," she says, "but 5 year olds are the ones who come in more often." Now, I am even more flabbergasted than before - but a new idea is swirling in my head: Why am I so surprised with this? Do I think like an old lady? Do I disapprove? Do I think it's wrong? Does the little girl look happy? Will she remember this birthday present and the beauty day spent with her mother and grandmother? Naomi Wolf, Betty Friedan, Gloria Steinem, Camille Paglia are all watching me. I have always detested labels and waves of feminism - yet, the more I looked - the deep blue eyes of the birthday girl looked troubled to me.

Maybe I am off - perhaps there is simply joy to share this girlish little routine - after all this is the third generation of women in that family. And each family chooses what to teach and pass on to the next generation. Everything's a point of view.

Happy birthday little woman - just grow up to be yourself some day...

Take My Poll Here.

Toddlers in the Park

2010-02-14T16:28:00.000-08:00

Finger puppets!..

Wondering the Pearl District in Portland last week after a two-hour soul-bathing expedition at Powell's Bookstore, I serendipitously discovered something I haven't seen before.

I often forget how playful life can be. And then, when I am peacefully going about my business aimlessly wondering the streets of a new city, needing to feel its foreign air, placing my finger on its pulse, there - out of nowhere - I stumble onto something odd and weird and colorful and deliciously silly and just for fun kind of a thing.

I am in this marvelous little weird Oriental, Asian, crafts and "stuff" sort of a store. I am intellectually at the toddler in the park stage. Going aimlessly from corner to corner, shelf to shelf, more interested in colors, and smells and hues and light at an angle - killing time, discovering newness and nothingness. Do I really have to have a reason to be there? And sometimes what is the reason to be anywhere? So, in this idle mood of mine, I spot a small basket. I squint. I see these wool stripes of cloth and small animal faces, a monkey, a sheep, a lion and a dog...I am clueless. Can't figure out what these things are.

I can picture now what I must have looked like, standing there staring questioningly into the basket. "Finger puppets" says a nice young woman peering over my shoulder. The village idiot in the store - that's me all right - stares blankly back. I frown. "Ahm...what are finger puppets?' I murmur. What do I know about such things? I have been in business all my life, no time to play, no time to look, no time to see, no time to spend idle afternoons going through colorful baskets in tiny little weird shops. The woman smiles. She picks up two of them and puts them on her fingers. She moves and twists and dances them and now I am smiling, too.

Who would have thought to come up with such a silly little thing? I buy two of them - embarrassed by my ignorance, this is the only way I can think of making up for it.

While the idiot smile is hanging crooked on my face, I begin to get it! Life does not always have to have a bigger meaning, objective, scope, deliverable and deadline. No branding strategy, no marketing approaches, no reasons actually. Sometimes, life is just for play. I go back to my laptop and straight to my goddess' shrine, I google "finger puppets". I am blown away! 453,000 pages dedicated to this craft. Apparently, there is a market, an audience, a trade, an interest.

I am smiling. Actually, I am writing this and I am still smiling. You can make anything you want out of life. You can choose to never play, wear, see or dance the finger puppets - or you can pause and smile and take the time to be the toddler in the park again, laughing and smiling at small and silly little things with no grander scheme, no reason.

And as a dear friend of mine says, "if you can't laugh at life, you haven't gotten the joke yet."

"Ideas Worth Spreading"

2010-02-11T08:08:00.000-08:00

Greetings from My First TED - Our Editors - Harvard Business Review

"Why do people go to TED? What do they do with everything they learn?"

This conference is all about self-enrichment, inspiration and, of course, plenty of networking. Somebody has said it is like "a semester of graduate school" packed into four days. During this moment of huge uncertainty in the world, the conference seems to take on even greater significance as people seem more willing to entertain a wide range of approaches to the world's problem, given that so much of our conventional wisdom seems to be failing us on so many levels.

During day 1, Meg Ryan introduced Jamie Oliver who won the TED prize this year for his work to improve nutrition for children in schools. Oliver's session echoed some of the same sentiments uttered from Dan Barber earlier in the day who spoke of the failure of agribusiness and the need for a more sustainable approach to our global food system.

The day ended with Sheryl Crow who seemed just to pop up out of nowhere to sing "A Change Will You Do You Good." It's a simple enough song with light harmony, but it amplified the message of the day: Change is good.

How this theme will be built upon in the days ahead will be interesting to see unfold, but for now, the TED crowd is fully engaged and still ready as ever to rock the world, regardless of it that shows up in the GDP.

Boredom Can Kill You!

2010-02-09T09:50:00.000-08:00

'Boredom can kill you' - Yahoo! India News

Several of my very select (and few) blog readers have been asking me why I don't post more often. While the question is sweet and a great compliment, the simple answer is that I try to respect people's time, so sometimes I blog but you - those who want to read my posts - have to go search for my newest. (You want to follow - I don't want to force you to follow).

A hundred ideas are dancing through my head at the same time, all the time. I multi-think while multitasking; I juggle and "play" creating or create playing, and do the mapping, and the exploring and the deep digging at the same time. I was never short on adrenaline and the nervous energy that propels movement and action.

Lots of people I know are like that, too.

My colleague from University of Texas who when less challenged in class, cooks salmon and lentils - at least that's what she was cooking yesterday - with her laptop screen at an angle and the phone stuck to her ear in the virtual conference call.
My entrepreneur friend with the 2 cats and the autistic dog who does cross-country conference calls with clients thousands of miles away while 10 things are taking place at once.
My other friend, the attorney, who reads 5 books simultaneously while revising depositions and litigation documents.
My coach-buddy in North Carolina who is in IT support and handles hundreds of calls and questions and at the same time coaches and opens people's minds and hearts.

So many of you who love and live life to the fullest.

Life is simply so delectably fascinating to miss a nano-second of it! You are reading the news, and all of a sudden your eye catches a headline on the news feed on screen. TED conference is on so you've scheduled time to follow the webcast - the TED fellows are on stage and these are the young ones who may be tomorrow's answers to today's challenges.

By the way, here is the schedule: http://tr.subscribermail.com/cc.cfm?sendto=http%3A%2F%2Fconferences%2Eted%2Ecom%2FTED2010%2Fprogram%2F&tempid=f23ab4d75d5843f5bb52f054bfd5fbe7&mailid=275eb76888904dc296a0f054bfd5fbe7

Bored? Who has time to be bored? And most importantly, who has time to die of boredom?

Socrates and Plato Would Be Jealous!

2010-02-01T12:34:00.000-08:00

The Forum has been fed, expanded and ignited! Social media - it's more than the hype and the coolness.

In my exploration of ideas and ways of making teams work better, I am grateful for the richness of the commentary by creative, open and curious people who share their thoughts and experiences with me.

Having posted a Productivity article on the Triiibes Ning, http://www.triiibes.com/forum/topics/what-is-productivity-how-do - and shifting through the dialogue, I could not avoid wondering what the world would like if only Socrates and Plato had such a platform to react and respond to their rhetoric....

So, time expediency is often the criterion on which reward is calculated. But, what are we missing if we look at it only this way?

See some of the comments here:

Reply by Rex Williams : "Well, there are a lot more factors that are part of the equation. I do like the article's recognition that there are other skills that are valuable in an employee.

But I think the main culprit of poor productivity in today's office environment is bad multi-tasking. People are usually really busy doing a lot of things, which means that they have a lot of work in process (WIP), but because they are switching from task to task, it takes a long time before one task is completely done."

Reply by Martin Messier: "The article you linked to got me thinking...I wonder what the second worker did during those 60 hours? Was he straight sitting down working on the project, or were there sideline activities that might result in non-measured fringe benefits? I used to wander around the first company I worked for during the day, anytime I needed a breather, just to boost people's self-esteem. Non-measurable, but probably with a lot of fringe benefits..."

Reply by Jenn Taylor: "Is time expediency the most crucial element of performance?...Well, that depends. In production/repetitious work, then probably yes but maybe no. Isn't quality important in there too? Too rigid a focus on time erodes the possibility of process improvement, doesn't it?"

Wouldn't Socrates and Plato be jealous if they saw us now?

What Do You Think?

2010-01-29T09:14:00.000-08:00

Can You Pay Close Attention?
(Please pay attention to the video link above - It is not about the color of the cards and it is only 3 min long).

You are observant. You focus. You do it again and this time you laser-focus. And yet, the 10th time around, and you still miss it!

Did you ever consider that the more you focus, the more you end up missing other things? Which is great if these other things don't matter. But what if they do?

The reality is shocking. We are our own worst terrorists! We start by having the intent. We move on to the plan. We start the execution and slowly we start losing speed. It starts with the creation of doubt, the "what ifs" and the maybes and we end up terrified by the possibilities.While we have made an excellent job mapping out our strategy, we take a swirl and miss our exit.

So, why do we do it? Why do we insist pretending that making the decision is the key when we know that a decision without action is useless?

And is there a way to learn to block the blockage?

What do you think?

"...I’ve found that the next level up is the focused meeting. I’ll bring together energetic, smart people and outline the problem. The act of talking about it, showing off, demonstrating the options… it generates even more energy, which I return and they return and there’s a whiteboard and what-ifs and excited voices and the next thing you know, the problem retreats, head held in shame, defeated...." from The Creative Process #1: An Interview with Seth Godin By Steven Pressfield | Published: January 26, 2010

2 Types of People (and a third)

2010-01-12T22:39:00.000-08:00

Absurdly happy...

Have you ever felt this way - the emphasis on the "absurdly?"

I flew to Vegas today. On the flight from San Francisco, a group of college students (ended up revealing their Stanford identity later) were mocking the conservative wave. Afro style humangous wigs, bell bottoms, 70's hippie op art and batique attire - reminding you of Ringo Star after the India tour - flaming orange, and lime and purple and blinding color shirts and dresses, and these god forsaken imitation, cheap, dark mirror Ray Bans. Was I really like that at their age - and these were my high school years!!!!?

One of them - he must not have been older than 20 -looked at me and smiled apologetically. I waved and winked. He was Elvis: fake dark sideburns, lots of sparkle, the white Elvis gettup.

Come on, man! What do you care who will judge you, who will think you are nuts, who will not find this funny.

I knew my trip was off to a fantastic start! These kids were taking off - determined to make the trip to la-la land, an affair to remember. So was I. I loved these kids; they had courage; determination; craziness; fun spirit; they were a team, a crazy cohort, a bunch of playmates going off to live their own personal Hangover (no, not the movie).

We landed; the kids were already drunk with the magic. The sun had just set and the sky was greyish dark and the flatland of the desert all lit up, gold-chain necklace on black velvet. The city that never sleeps; the place where people think their dreams may come true; the disneyland for grown ups.

Intellectuals tend to dislike this place. Vegas and Dubai, both representing the excesses, the fakeness, the dreamland, the pathos of the addicted ones, the bottomless pit of the unconsolable human soul.

I like Vegas (and no, I don't hate Dubai either). I don't like gambling and this is why I can take Vegas in. I can be undistracted to rejoice in being the grown up kid in Vegas. The lights. The laughter. The richness. The kitsch and then the spot of elegance and class in the middle of the absurdity of the utmost bizarre. I love the contrasts. The human sea of the strangest of the strange, the richest of the rich and the poorer of the poor - all mingled in a dance of oblivion.

I don't mind. I like it actually. It is the epitomy of life - and the possibility of what it would be like if people were not ashamed to show their true colors. What's wrong with laughing and playing and being a kid once in a while? What's wrong with having a city dedicated to being the place "where everything that's done there, stays there?" And what would the world be like if our cities were like this one?

So, as I watched the crowds rolling through the lights, and the music and the laughter, being hypnotized by lady luck naked on the black jack tables, I felt this absurd happiness of being here. I smiled, I toasted the city and cheered silently for all those playing the crap tables all night.

I guess there are two kinds of people: Those who hate Las Vegas and those who love Las Vegas. And then, it dawned on me: The majority have not even visited Vegas...

Let Tiger Roar

2010-01-07T11:10:00.000-08:00

How is it that everyone and their mother has some piece of advice for Tiger Woods?

I got truly disgusted with the media when they reported how his mother in law was rushed to the hospital, but Anthony Tjan's article in the Harvard Business Review blog did me in.

http://blogs.hbr.org/tjan/2010/01/what-tiger-woods-should-do-nex.html?cm_mmc=npv-_-DAILY_ALERT-_-AWEBER-_-DATE

Yes, the debate on celebrity privacy issues and the scenes of paparazzi chasing Princess D on that fatal night in Paris are part of the ugly memories that will sneak into the 21st century hall of shame time capsule.

People seem to have an obsession learning other people's "dirty" little secrets. But what is "dirty?" Whose morality is defining that people's private moments - good or bad - socially acceptable or not - should be out in the open, torn to pieces, examined under the microscope, turned inside out, useless void air in the hollowness of chasms of "perceived" knowledge.

Is Tiger Woods the first or last husband who cheated on his wife? Who among us is so shockingly surprised by the fact that a successful, wealthy, youngish celebrity - he happened to be a man, but married women happen to "cheat" on their husbands, too - is not monogamous?

Unless you lived on Mars, you would know that such incidents are part of the deal. I want to avoid the philosophical debate on the holy institution of marriage. I will not go there, even though that would have been a much more meaningful commentary -- afterall, if the agreements and bonds of marriage are so often "betrayed," broken, and re-defined, shouldn't we be looking at the rules that seem to beg us to break them?

When our brother-in-law, our sister, our aunt or our beloved friend come to confess their extra-marital affair, we shush them up and whisper secretely in their ear. We try to hide, conceal, avoid, deny, cover. Sometimes, we condemn, sometimes we forgive, but most often the knee-jerk reaction is to try to "fix" the "problem." But, the point is that when it comes to people we know - the issue is hush-hush. Ugly gossip is to be avoided at all costs.

One thing is certain: "Cheating" - a term coined by the moral majority who is neither - happens to almost all of us. We either do it to our spouse or our spouse has already done it to us. Deal with it. Don't pretend you are shocked by it because you are not. Not on planet Earth.

Bottom line, people are entitled to their lives. It is theirs to live, their journeys to make, their dreams to dream, their lessons to learn. So, leave Tiger alone. Let him roar.

* I challenge you to count the number of married couples you know who have not had a similar experience. And then look hard at all of those who had. They are probably still "happilly" married. Aren't they?

And if you don't believe me, just go here: http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE6054F820100106?feedType=nl&feedName=usmorningdigest

Do you need more?

Cherish your not so good times - they will make your better times even better!

2009-12-31T11:02:00.000-08:00

I have always been impervious to what others may think; consistently fighting the rules that are supposed to govern relationships, statuses, social environments. Being a rebel has come natural to me - as I have always felt comfortable in being different.

I have used this difference to connect with other "deviants" - I love the term - who is to say what is a deviation! And after a while, through the connections my own small circle of a tribe has been formed. And it is this tribe that matters.

So, today,the last day of the decade, I want to do 2 things:

Accentuate the differences that make life so special.
Pay tribute to this tribe of mine.

Love/ hate; joy/ sadness; contentment / anger; satisfaction / dissapointment; excitement / boredom; good and bad. All of these feelings and sensations so valuable to the richness of the experience - and you do need them all to be able to measure the intensity of the emotions, the one end of the spectrum with its extreme opposite. So, cherish your not so good times - they will make your better times even better. And remember: without these 'bad' moments, you would not know what it feels like to be more of anything.

In the end, we all find the god in ourselves - we find those (people, ideas, "things") we really love and like, and learn to defend them. This is what causes us to form the values in our lives, the principles, the core fundamentals that become our beacons and guiding lights.

* This has been inspired by these people:

My son, fierce warrior in life's game, protector, defender, comrade in all the battles being fought in the game of freedom.

My daughter, defined by her penetrating passion for joy, fun, friendship, sweet blossom in the garden of explorations and discoveries.

My best friend, my intellectual partner, my other half, the mirror reflecting the differences that can make us so similar in our thinking, so different in the process yet so much alike in the final conclusions and the finite principles that guide our lives.

My other friend, the saint in my life who unlike me has been the Mother Teresa for so many of her opponents, the oppresors in her life who defined her pathway making her overcome the adversity and the hardship. Her humor, pointed irony, but overall goodness makes her unique in the way she faces life.

The other people in my life - those I have known through good and bad - through some easy and some not so easy times; through the learnings, the shared unique experiences, the laughter, the fun, the challenge...

The Best is yet to come, guys...

Dec. 31, 2009

As You Like It

2009-12-20T08:39:00.000-08:00

"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages." As You Like It, William Shakespeare

"Pretend, Act as if.." http://bit.ly/8sib6T Today's Management tip from the Harvard Business Review.

Two different sources voicing both the reality and the necessity of playacting - survival certainly demands a bag full of tricks and weapons. Yet, my vociferous inner self cries out to challenge the practice.

While we all wear many hats - and playact some of our fantasies some of the time, can you really forget your core? Values, credos, thoughts, feelings - the DNA of our personalities doesn't take a hike when we are on stage, the lights and cameras of others catching our ugly other side. At some point in the conversation, the "lie", the pretence, the hidden truth will sneak in. And then, you'll lose your balance. And the fall will be nasty and embarassing.

Why is it hard for some people to cast themselves as the protagonists? Hundreds of reasons, explanations, excuses, ramifications - but in the end of the day, when you are left alone in front of the mirror, you have to see YOU.

And the options here seem clear to me: You either like or dislike what you see. I presume that those who like who and what they see, go on being comfortable in their own skin. The challenge is with all these people who don't like what they see - and as a result of the fear of being found out, recognized for the ugly duckling they think they are, they hide behind their masks and go on pretending to be something else, someone else, uttering words which may sound strange if not spoken from the heart.

So, I now have 3 questions for you:

How important is it for others to believe you?
What does it mean to you to be understood?
How important is it to be accepted?

The answers are yours and yours alone to think through. But, in the end, if others believe your made-up story and understand your myth, then the person who is accepted and loved is not you but a stranger.

Is this what you really want in the end?

You Don't Need To See To Be Able To Listen.

2009-12-16T09:37:00.000-08:00

No, appearances do not matter

Got talent? Real talent? No matter what, when something is genuine and comes from the heart, and it can move people, then no matter what, talent will always shine.

Listen to her sing...

8 Questions And A Why

2009-12-15T15:44:00.000-08:00

Yes, indeed....I take a deep breath and choose to ignore my nagging ego and secret voice 'cause I am using Seth's platform two days in a row to dive into this creative space, my safe harbor, my thinking palace of a blog. But in a world that's suffering from lack of hope, compassion, heroes, teachers and a commonly uncommon sense of identity, I feel fortunate to have someone like Seth Godin to inspire and stimulate our collective thinking.

http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2009/12/8-questions-and-a-why.html

So, I will answer the 8 questions he posed today adding my whys at the end. The exercise is a public sort of catharsis - all you have to do is sit and do your own answers - no rights and wrongs in this one!

So, here is my jump into the metaphysical world of personal whys and becauses:

Who are you trying to please? Primarily myself - following my own sense of justice, morality and fairness, but I often yield to those I love BECAUSE life has taught me that unless I am pleased, I can't really offer anything meaningful and ever lasting to anyone else.
What are you promising? Excitement, openess, genuine directness and a pledge of not betraying someone's trust; an attempt to come closer through a kinship of sorts, an alignment, a bridge to cross over BECAUSE I've decided long ago that life is more interesting when around those people you really like, value and cherish. And in order to keep these people in your life, you need to be faithful to your code of ethics, your laws, your ideals.
How much money are you trying to make? The amount is only a number - BECAUSE only those who are willing to sacrifice this amount for the principle of the ideal, can actually have so much fun doing whatever it is they decided to do to get even more money for it.
How much freedom are you willing to trade for opportunity? Very little (if any) BECAUSE you always need the room and the freedom to decide which opportunities you will pursue, when and at what cost. And opportunities that deprive you of your freedom are not necessarily the best ones.
What are you trying to change? The level of acceptance for anything out of the ordinary or anyone out of the main stream BECAUSE multiplicity opens up the possibilities of deeper knowledge and by knowing more, you discover so much more about yourself and others.
What do you want people to say about you? Sharp brain; warm heart BECAUSE I know I can give back through these two, because of these two, in spite of those two but primarily because I think and feel through these two.
Which people? About 150 people or so - a close group of friends, colleagues, clients, guides, teachers and even some worthy opponents - a mixture of whom alternate through the years. The core of this group is made up by those I learned to love, respect and cherish BECAUSE they have taught me things, they have argued and fought with or against me, and in the end they have helped shape who I've become.
Do we care about you? Only an obituary would answer this question BECAUSE in the end what matters most is how well you lived, how much you loved and how well you learned to let go...

Have fun thinking of your answers, giving your whys...

If you make a difference, you also make a connection

2009-12-14T13:05:00.000-08:00

What Matters Now: Seth Godin's freebook

Are you the kind of person you want to shake things up?

Get the What Matters Now ebook (and spread it). In Seth's latest project, he managed to do the unthinkable: INSPIRE...

I do think we all miss our heroes. Who do you really respect today? Are you lucky enough to have someone in your life you look up to, you admire, you want to follow not because you have to but because you want to?

Generosity; Fear; Dignity; Meaning; Connections are some of the one-pagers you will read about...

Perfect gift for anytime and anyone. Have fun on your journey!

Polyanna and My Birthday Gifts

2009-12-08T14:42:00.000-08:00

Pol•ly•an•na

Pronunciation: \ˌpä-lē-ˈa-nə\
Function: noun
Etymology: Pollyanna, heroine of the novel Pollyanna (1913) by Eleanor Porter †1920 American fiction writer. Definition: A person characterized by irrepressible optimism and a tendency to find good in everything. From The Merriam Webster Dictionary

I am not Polyanna. Those who know me would have a hard time identifying me with the little girl who always has nice and happy thoughts.

However, something happened this morning. The thought struck me loud and clear: Regardless of who you are, what you do, how much money you make, what matters most is the people who matter - and, no, I am not being crafty here.

You do feel and think that some people play a big role in your life. You love them; they love you back; you care deeply for each other; you miss them when they are not around and it hurts. You may not have seen them for a long time, but next time you meet, you pick up exactly where you left off and boom! It's that connection, the magic, the warm feeling in your stomach that there is care, and affection and love all around you.

So, this morning on the day of my birthday, I woke up and smiled. I looked at my life and knew right then and there that my gifts for the day were all inside me - in my head, in my heart. And, it's these people who matter.

• Those friends who have nurtured my insecurities; accepted my criticism; laughed at my insults and kept on loving me; challenged my thinking and forced me to see another point of view; opened their arms and hugged me when I cried, and let me be who I am with no pretenses, no barriers, no walls.

• My son and daughter who have given me the love of tenderness and the opportunity to watch two incredibly smart young adults make their own life journey, resisting the beaten track, making me feel proud of being their parent.

• Those skeptics who have taught me how to look at things through a different and contrarian lense just to test the hypothesis of the moment.

• Those enemies who have made me brave by standing in battle - worthy opponents for the struggle of life, the need for perseverance, the inner need to win and the most valuable lesson of loss.

Today, (coincidentally on my birthday?), I decided to pay tribute to these people in my life who matter. As I transition back into the Bay Area lifestyle, having recently returned after more than a decade, I need the time to adjust and absorb the change and the difference. My journey is made so much easier with the presence - and in many instances the virtual presence - of these people.

So...Polyannish as this may sound - today, I made a choice.To accept that these people are gifts - they don't have to be there; they don't owe me; they are simply there and I am lucky to have them.You know who you are, and I thank you.

* This blog was inspired by Tal Ben-Shahar whom I was fortunate enough to see last Saturday.
Here's his tips:

1. Give yourself permission to be human. When we accept emotions — such as fear, sadness, or anxiety — as natural, we are more likely to overcome them. Rejecting our emotions, positive or negative, leads to frustration and unhappiness.

2. Happiness lies at the intersection between pleasure and meaning.

3. Keep in mind that happiness is mostly dependent on our state of mind, not on our status or the state of our bank account. Barring extreme circumstances, our level of well being is determined by what we choose to focus on (the full or the empty part of the glass) and by our interpretation of external events.

4. Simplify! We are, generally, too busy, trying to squeeze in more and more activities into less and less time. Quantity influences quality, and we compromise on our happiness by trying to do too much.

5. Remember the mind-body connection. What we do — or don't do — with our bodies influences our mind.

6. Express gratitude, whenever possible. We too often take our lives for granted. Learn to appreciate and savor the wonderful things in life, from people to nature to a smile.

Thank you...

Can "Nice Girls" Negotiate? - Conversation Starter - HarvardBusiness.org

2009-12-03T07:37:00.000-08:00

Can "Nice Girls" Negotiate? - Conversation Starter - HarvardBusiness.org

How many more years, decades, centuries do we have to go through to get over this stereotypical idea that women are supposed to be nicer than men? Powerful people are powerful regardless of their sex, color or money. It's the charactert that matters, the heart, the determination and stamina to fight. So, what if someone out there has the distorted view that "nice" girls are meant to do other things - preferably behind closed doors and even better doing it to them?

This is not about feminism (the mention of it alone has become an anathema to many of us - no, I don'tlike labels, thank you very much). It's about the realization that weak men negotiate equally miserably as weak women and vice versa.

Come on! Let's move on with life and concentrate on the things that matter!

Whose Life Is It Anyway?

2009-11-26T16:27:00.000-08:00

On my way back from Europe, I landed at the San Franciso airport. The flight from London was not full and luckily it seemed we were the only flight that landed at that time in spite of the day before Thanksgiving, the busiest to travel. This time around, it took me almost two years and an Obama victory to come back, so I took the peaceful reception as a great sign.

A very nice youngish Latina (or should I say Hispanic) woman stamped my passport and welcomed me back to the US. As I was turning to leave, she smiled at me and said: "I love your hair; I love the color, this bright burgundy.They'd never let me do that here. We are supposed to look professional," she said looking sweetly disappointed with her own thought of impossibility.

I smiled, waved a cutsy bye and rushed to get my luggage. Is America becoming more conservative? Is the Federal government imposing hairstyles and hair color mandates on its employees? Or is it simply that the perception of seriousness, the stereotypes and the "packaging" still carry weight and form opinions? But, this is not my point - I feel too fatigued for yet another political discussion.

My issue is the young woman's fear, unwillingness, resistance to her own self. It's not that SHE doesn't want to do something. It's what THEY (the others) will think, say, believe about her. It's not the hair, the color, the clothes, the make up or whatever. It's the uncertainty of her opinions, her tastes, her stance.

I never let that "perception" come between me, my hair and my professionalism. The occasional pink has been a spark of eccentricity for over ten years now and none of my more conservative corporate clients ever said a word.

My best friend, equally impervious (check photo) is one of the better known attorneys in Greece, specializing in zoning regulations and urban planning law. You have to be tough in this cut-throat world surrounded with builders, engineers, and state officials. The off the wall green and blue colors in her hair have not stopped anyone from retaining her as a lawyer. No judge has thrown out her case due to stylistic prejudice.

If you are good and strong and fully aware of your power, why let others write the rules for your own game? Even if you don't feel that strong or good or aware - why deny yourself being you?

It's your life and nobody else's and only you are the master of your game.

Since it is the greatest holiday today -Thanksgiving - regardless of countries, colors (skin and eyes and hair), religions or cultural norms, I think a reflective moment is in order.

Are you thankful to yourself because of who and what you are? It's so easy to forget the little kid that lives somewhere in our heart. But, it's her spunk that makes you laugh and joke and skip a step or sing in the shower.

So, think again - say thank you to this little kid inside and then go call your best friend who helps you remember.

Happy Thanksgiving, world!

The Lost Man and the What If's

2009-11-19T09:25:00.000-08:00

Life is definitely more twisted than fiction! How believable is the story of a lost guy who drives for nine hours over 400 miles before he finally decides to stop and ask for directions? Read all about it:

http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSTRE5AH48D20091118

Please don't get me wrong: I feel great sympathy and a protective twinge for Mr. Stewart. I mean no disrespect but what could he possibly be thinking as he went on - and on, and on - driving?

This is of course a rhetorical question. This is not about men (and a very few women) who pride themselves in not asking for directions.

The "little engine that could" principle and the sense of the all-mighty self is great to have and it's the stuff great leaders are made of. However, acknowledging and accepting limits and limitations to your own capacity and natural talent, can only save the painful realization that sometimes (rarely for others) you are lost, you need help, you can't do it on your own.

It's ok. Wouldn't you rather admit you are lost, ask for help and move on in the right direction?

But, some will argue... People tend to give so many wrong directions. What if the person you ask, is the wrong directions person? What if you follow these directions and you end up in Timbuktu instead?

Life happens. Everything is possible and probable, but if it takes you another nine hours to stop again and ask for new directions, then you and only you - will get the golden rotten tomato prize.

Learning to adapt quickly, being flexible and quick enough to gauge the situation and shoot for the quintessential corrective action -- even if you stoop so low as to ask for directions from a stranger -- can save some face, a few ounces of lost pride and at minimum a tank of gas and a smaller carbon footprint for the planet!

TO DREAM THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM

2009-11-16T01:22:00.000-08:00

Sometimes all it takes is just your dream.

Any commentary for the triumph of this Zimbabwan woman would detract from her victory and the shining example she sets for all.

See full story here:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/15/opinion/15kristof.html?em

Failure vs Success

2009-11-15T01:57:00.000-08:00

Radicals & Visionaries - Entrepreneur.com

"You have to believe that something is solvable to go after it," says Peter Diamandis of the X Prize Foundation.

The key issue is to have the power to believe that YOU will find the solution. If believing in yourself is hard, then are you really doing everything you can to find the way to get the help you need to go where you want to go?

The hows, the wheres and the plan is doable. All you need to do is to find the courage to make that commitment to your target -whatever that may be.

Quitting: Sounds more negative than it actually is

2009-11-12T02:44:00.000-08:00

Just take a moment to read this: Quitting in style

"Quitter" has become just another executive dirty word. Why is it that popular belief claims "Quitters leave people hanging; abandon teams; let go of their obligations and responsibilities, resign from making an effort..."

It's not always that simplistic.

Sometimes leaving is the greatest form of dissent. Yet another choice, but if you do it in style, acknowledging the possible gap you may be creating, things can work out for the better.

Articulating why you are quitting, how you are doing it and what you plan to do next can sweeten the bad taste and the disappointment, and instead help to bridge the next phase of whatever it is you are doing. Because in the end, you will be doing something different.

How do you use Twitter? See my poll - take it if in linked.in

2009-11-11T04:18:00.000-08:00

http://polls.linkedin.com/poll-results/65450/tlqbt

Why Not?

2009-11-10T02:23:00.000-08:00

Decisions imply consequences. Consequencies imply risks. Risks imply possibilities of loss. Does this mean that the fear of losing - however we perceive loss - will prevent us from the possibility of gaining? And what happens when you do nothing? At best, nothing will change. And if you are relatively content with the present state, you might be OK not reacting to time and the ever changing environment. However, if you are at least slightly dissatisfied with your present, it is highly unlikely that "deus ex machina" will intervene.

Institutional Yes: The HBR Interview with Jeff Bezos - Harvard Business Publishing: ".' If Amazon has made strategic mistakes, Bezos says, they have been errors of omission. So when something seems like an opportunity, Bezos asks the question, 'Why not?' which leads to maximizing the number of experiments companywide: 'People say, 'We're going to do this. We're going to figure out a way.'' That's the institutional yes."

Seth's Blog: Fabulous

2009-11-08T03:33:00.000-08:00

Seth's Blog: Fabulous

"If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do work that matters, this is it. You can't say, "but I need to make a fortune instead," because that's not happening right now. So you might as well join the people who can say, "I love doing this."

Fabulous Seth Godin...

TIME: QUIZ OF THE DAY

2009-11-08T01:08:00.000-08:00

Here's the guessing game for you today: How old is the person who said to me this morning: "Boy, you must have so much time on your hands to start blogging!"?

A. Baby boomer (50+)

B. Age has nothing to do with it - simply someone who is outside the social media curve

C. Young enough to hit the road making connections

D. All of the above

I do believe we always find the time to do the things we REALLY like. It's never really about time - but about the choices we make to do or not do something.

Priorities, dilemmas, conflicts - and you can choose to view them as the mountain you have to climb or as the dazzling success you can accomplish when you clear the clutter and move on with some of the things you HAVE to do before you can get to those you really WANT to.

The choice is only yours to make but not having time - come on - it's only a poor excuse.

IT'S ALL ABOUT 2 QUESTIONS IN THE END

2009-11-07T06:03:00.000-08:00

What happens when you get a compliment? Do you simply smile and say thank you and move on to something else or you start debating with the the paranoid voice in your head and then blog about it?

Actually, today's comment by someone I've been mentoring -let's call him George - was not really a compliment. It felt less embarrassing to both of us when he re-phrased it as a thank you. I helped him peel back the artificial wrappings of a box of rotten candy - and the metaphor has nothing to do with Forrest Gump. He had the courage to look straight into the mirror and clear the fog that obscured his own image. He took a stance and made a decision: to stop feeling afraid of what others might say or think about him; be honest and honor his integrity and professional standards.

Yes, it is as simple as it sounds: Think through the consequences of how certain actions might impact a situation, see the options, potential and possible outcomes and decide. In the end it always comes down to only two questions:

Can anything happen if you do nothing?
What do you have to lose?

So, this guy said that as he was talking to his boss, he could hear my voice in his head, and he was imagining me guiding him. I smiled when I heard that. "Challenge for thought, support for action." I had nothing to do with what he chose to say and do. He simply felt comforted by thinking I was there to guide him. He did it all alone - I was nowhere near him.

In the end, it's only human to feel the need to have a friend, an advocate, a supporter. As long as this idea does not make you need permanent clutches and it only serves as the training wheels on the brand new bike when you are only three, it's ok.

So, here's to you, George and congratulations for being bold and brave to do what you really wanted to do.